Thursday, December 19, 2013
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Happy Holidays!
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Happy Holidays!: The holidays always find a way to sneak up on me. No matter how prepared I think I am, I always find myself a holiday hot mess! I scramble...
Happy Holidays!
The holidays always find a way to sneak up on me. No matter how prepared I think I am, I always find myself a holiday hot mess! I scramble to get cards, gifts, and other holiday greetings out on time. It is unenviable that I will unintentionally forget something, or someone along the way. I need to start planning for the next year as soon as this years holidays have passed.
My health issues never fail to provide many kinks in my holiday plans. Take this year for example. Having surgery the week before Christmas, for lack of a better word, sucks! Jeff and I haven't even been able to put up a Christmas tree, or decorations. Luckily, modern technology has allowed me to record all of the lovely holiday programming to watch at a later time. If not for that our home would be Scrooge-worthy in appearance. The only hint of the holiday spirit has been released through christmas cookie, and apple cider scented candles. There is never a shortage of candles at the Kleinman household. It has recently struck me that the holiday season will be over before I have truly gotten into the holiday spirit.
Fortunately, I get to experience an abundance of holiday cheer at the hospital. The children, and the families I visit at the cancer center never let their ailments turn them into holiday grinches. They do whatever they can to make the hospital as festive as possible. Families bring in platters of holiday treats, play Christmas music all season long, and reinvent their traditions for the hospital setting. It is a joy, and my absolute pleasure to take part in as many holiday activities as my body allows.
Taking part in new holiday events is honestly wonderful, but there is a large part of me that yearns for all of the holiday traditions of my childhood. Every December I wish I could go back in time to small town Wisconsin, waking up at home with my parents, and my sister on Christmas morning. Feeling that carefree exhilaration that only Santa, and Christmas spirit can instill. Waking up at three in the morning is never easier than on December 25th. Now-a-days the first bout of nausea and vomiting starts my Christmas morning. Let me tell you, that is definitely not the same feeling of exhilaration you get when your a child waking up for Christmas. The feeling is more that of, I deserve a gift after dealing with this shit all night...Merry Freakin' Christmas, my ass! You can take back every present I received if I could have just 24 puke-free hours!
I know I sound extremely bitter, angry, and like a holiday buzz-kill, but really, I'm not. I enjoy the holidays, and I am grateful to be alive to celebrate them. Seeing houses covered in Christmas lights, purging on holiday goodies, giving & receiving gifts, and experiencing the cheerfulness the holidays bring is heartwarming. I truly love it. I just wish "life" didn't have to get in the way of holiday happiness. I wish I could experience it once again, as I did, when I was a child. I can only hope that I give the children at the hospital a sense of that magical holiday spirit, and one day when I have a child I can enrich their life with the holiday traditions I hold so dear.
Have a safe and happy holiday!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Everyday Heroes
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Everyday Heroes: Over the course of my lifetime, many people have asked me who my heroes are. Since becoming sick, I have been asked more frequently. I alw...
Everyday Heroes
Over the course of my lifetime, many people have asked me who my heroes are. Since becoming sick, I have been asked more frequently. I always find it hard to pinpoint just one, because heroes are all around us. I encounter heroes everyday.
Usually the question of my heroes is prompted by my positive outlook on life. I don't know how many times I have heard that I MUST hold the secret to happily dealing with cancer. Let's get one thing straight...there is NOTHING happy about cancer, but I have found a lot of happiness since receiving my cancer diagnosis. That is because I surround myself with heroes.
All of my fellow cancer patients are my heroes. They have been dealt a similar hand to mine, and yet they are always there to comfort me when I need a helping hand. We can relate to one another on a level that many cannot. We laugh together, cry together, bitch & moan together, but most of all we love each other. United we are stronger than the terrible illnesses that try to defeat us. Everyday when I walk into the Cancer Center I know that I am among heroes.
The nurses, and all of the healthcare staff that treat, and care for patients day-after-day are my heroes. It is not an easy job taking care of the sick. I will be the first to say that, as a patient, I am a gigantic pain in the ass. The doctors, nurses, technicians, etc, that help me pull through the pain, and constant challenges that come with illness will forever by my heroes.
Lastly, and most importantly, my family and friends are my heroes. I would not be the person I am today without all of you. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the even uglier, my family and friends have loved me, embraced me, and accepted me for the person I am. Never once, have you tried to change me, or have you treated me like "the sick girl". I have remained Meg, or Megan, or to my mom, her MegPie, or to my dad, his little Meggie. All of you provide the sense of normalcy that I crave. Being surrounded by medicine day-in-and-day-out is exhausting. My family and friends take me away from that part of my life. I am able to escape the misery of being a cancer patient, and when I can't find my way out of the misery, you all are there to dig me out. Boy, am I lucky to be surrounded by so many heroes.
To me, a hero is someone who provides hope for the future, finds the strength needed at your weakest moments, and turns sorrow into joy. There are heroes all around us. I'm sure all of you reading this are heroes to more people than you know. Even if you don't think so, you are a hero to me.
Sidebar: The booster campaign is running for a couple more days. Please consider purchasing a shirt at www.booster.com/hopeformeg. Thank you!
Usually the question of my heroes is prompted by my positive outlook on life. I don't know how many times I have heard that I MUST hold the secret to happily dealing with cancer. Let's get one thing straight...there is NOTHING happy about cancer, but I have found a lot of happiness since receiving my cancer diagnosis. That is because I surround myself with heroes.
All of my fellow cancer patients are my heroes. They have been dealt a similar hand to mine, and yet they are always there to comfort me when I need a helping hand. We can relate to one another on a level that many cannot. We laugh together, cry together, bitch & moan together, but most of all we love each other. United we are stronger than the terrible illnesses that try to defeat us. Everyday when I walk into the Cancer Center I know that I am among heroes.
The nurses, and all of the healthcare staff that treat, and care for patients day-after-day are my heroes. It is not an easy job taking care of the sick. I will be the first to say that, as a patient, I am a gigantic pain in the ass. The doctors, nurses, technicians, etc, that help me pull through the pain, and constant challenges that come with illness will forever by my heroes.
Lastly, and most importantly, my family and friends are my heroes. I would not be the person I am today without all of you. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the even uglier, my family and friends have loved me, embraced me, and accepted me for the person I am. Never once, have you tried to change me, or have you treated me like "the sick girl". I have remained Meg, or Megan, or to my mom, her MegPie, or to my dad, his little Meggie. All of you provide the sense of normalcy that I crave. Being surrounded by medicine day-in-and-day-out is exhausting. My family and friends take me away from that part of my life. I am able to escape the misery of being a cancer patient, and when I can't find my way out of the misery, you all are there to dig me out. Boy, am I lucky to be surrounded by so many heroes.
To me, a hero is someone who provides hope for the future, finds the strength needed at your weakest moments, and turns sorrow into joy. There are heroes all around us. I'm sure all of you reading this are heroes to more people than you know. Even if you don't think so, you are a hero to me.
Sidebar: The booster campaign is running for a couple more days. Please consider purchasing a shirt at www.booster.com/hopeformeg. Thank you!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: All The Comforts of Home
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: All The Comforts of Home: It's no surprise that dealing with cancer, or any kind of illness, is uncomfortable. Your taste for food changes, the way things smell ...
All The Comforts of Home
It's no surprise that dealing with cancer, or any kind of illness, is uncomfortable. Your taste for food changes, the way things smell changes, the way things feel begin to freak you out. It is a whirlwind of change that is endlessly frustrating. Each day, I find something new that bothers one of my senses. It's almost like being reborn, and experiencing scents, tastes, and touches for the first time. What I once knew to be true, is no longer.
The biggest change has been in my wardrobe. Most fabrics make my skin crawl. It is an absolutely awful feeling, so my clothing options have greatly decreased. Most days, I feel like a slob because my fashion has been reduced to clothing only made of 100% cotton. Make-up has become obsolete, and my jewelry is minimal. I feel like a big, puffy blob of cotton-covered cancer. The image is disturbing, I know.
Over that years, I have learned what types of things comfort me. I do my best to surround myself with the items that lift my spirits, and make me forget about daily struggles. The single most impactful product I have found is; the candle. I know it may sound weird, but lighting a candle, and filling my surroundings with delightful scents, brings me to a calm, and centered place. I am drawn to scents that remind me of home, and that evoke positive memories. I can escape to these memories for a while, and leave the pain behind. Candles allow me to relive happier times, like baking cookies with my family, or drinking hot cocoa after building a snowman. Candles can also bring the scents of holidays to my home when I am unable to travel back to Wisconsin, and celebrate with my family and friends. Lighting a candle transports me to a cancer-free point in time. What more could I ask for?
I have been fortunate to discover certain comforts that take me away from the harsh realities of life, and allow my mind to remember all the wonderful things life has to offer. A few other simple pleasure I indulge myself in are; hugs, warm blankets, hot showers, the unconditional love of pets, laughing with family/friends, and waking up to a brand new day. Since being diagnosed with cancer I make sure to revile in these simple pleasures longer, and more passionately. One day, I will no longer be able to enjoy these things, so I am going to embrace them while I can.
The children struggling with serious illnesses often tell me about their pain, and how uncomfortable life in a hospital is. It breaks my heart to hear the kids living without the comforts of home. Ever since I starting visiting the children at the cancer center in Syracuse, I have heard the same complaint. The kids hate their room. I can't say that I blame them. The room has pale gray walls, dark gray floors, and plain white window coverings. The only color in the room is on the beds. Each child has their own linens, but other than that the room is, for lack of a better word, gloomy. I knew I had to do something to change that. I asked the hospital administration if I could paint the walls, or let the families paint the walls. I was shutdown in my request, but I came up with another idea. I asked if we could tape drawing paper to the walls. I told the hospital staff that I would take responsibility for maintaining the art wall if they approved it. I must have presented an offer they couldn't refuse, because I was granted approval for the mural. I talked with the maintenance staff, and early this morning they applied drawing paper to two of the walls in the children's room. They put up the materials while the kids were at their respective treatments. I was immediately notified when the walls were all set up. Before the kids went back to there room for the afternoon, I snuck in. I laid out markers, colored pencils, water colors with paintbrushes, and crayons, along with a note. The note read: These supplies are all for you guys to make your new art wall! I had previously informed the parents of what I was planning, so they could help the children design their mural. After my treatments, I went down to contribute a special little "Meg touch" to their work of art.
I am so glad that the kids could express themselves in their temporary home. Seeing all of the kids giddy with excitement for their new art project, warmed my heart. It was a joy to watch them drawing all of their favorite things on the wall. They could finally have the comforts of home in their hospital room.
The biggest change has been in my wardrobe. Most fabrics make my skin crawl. It is an absolutely awful feeling, so my clothing options have greatly decreased. Most days, I feel like a slob because my fashion has been reduced to clothing only made of 100% cotton. Make-up has become obsolete, and my jewelry is minimal. I feel like a big, puffy blob of cotton-covered cancer. The image is disturbing, I know.
Over that years, I have learned what types of things comfort me. I do my best to surround myself with the items that lift my spirits, and make me forget about daily struggles. The single most impactful product I have found is; the candle. I know it may sound weird, but lighting a candle, and filling my surroundings with delightful scents, brings me to a calm, and centered place. I am drawn to scents that remind me of home, and that evoke positive memories. I can escape to these memories for a while, and leave the pain behind. Candles allow me to relive happier times, like baking cookies with my family, or drinking hot cocoa after building a snowman. Candles can also bring the scents of holidays to my home when I am unable to travel back to Wisconsin, and celebrate with my family and friends. Lighting a candle transports me to a cancer-free point in time. What more could I ask for?
I have been fortunate to discover certain comforts that take me away from the harsh realities of life, and allow my mind to remember all the wonderful things life has to offer. A few other simple pleasure I indulge myself in are; hugs, warm blankets, hot showers, the unconditional love of pets, laughing with family/friends, and waking up to a brand new day. Since being diagnosed with cancer I make sure to revile in these simple pleasures longer, and more passionately. One day, I will no longer be able to enjoy these things, so I am going to embrace them while I can.
The children struggling with serious illnesses often tell me about their pain, and how uncomfortable life in a hospital is. It breaks my heart to hear the kids living without the comforts of home. Ever since I starting visiting the children at the cancer center in Syracuse, I have heard the same complaint. The kids hate their room. I can't say that I blame them. The room has pale gray walls, dark gray floors, and plain white window coverings. The only color in the room is on the beds. Each child has their own linens, but other than that the room is, for lack of a better word, gloomy. I knew I had to do something to change that. I asked the hospital administration if I could paint the walls, or let the families paint the walls. I was shutdown in my request, but I came up with another idea. I asked if we could tape drawing paper to the walls. I told the hospital staff that I would take responsibility for maintaining the art wall if they approved it. I must have presented an offer they couldn't refuse, because I was granted approval for the mural. I talked with the maintenance staff, and early this morning they applied drawing paper to two of the walls in the children's room. They put up the materials while the kids were at their respective treatments. I was immediately notified when the walls were all set up. Before the kids went back to there room for the afternoon, I snuck in. I laid out markers, colored pencils, water colors with paintbrushes, and crayons, along with a note. The note read: These supplies are all for you guys to make your new art wall! I had previously informed the parents of what I was planning, so they could help the children design their mural. After my treatments, I went down to contribute a special little "Meg touch" to their work of art.
I am so glad that the kids could express themselves in their temporary home. Seeing all of the kids giddy with excitement for their new art project, warmed my heart. It was a joy to watch them drawing all of their favorite things on the wall. They could finally have the comforts of home in their hospital room.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: So Very Thankful
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: So Very Thankful: Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I have so many reasons to be thankful, but today I was given a very special reason to be thankful....
So Very Thankful
Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I have so many reasons to be thankful, but today I was given a very special reason to be thankful.
As I entered the children's floor at the cancer center this morning, I was greeted with overwhelming happiness and love. The children, and their parents had a wonderful gift for me. Two of the kids ran to me, grabbed my hands, and led me into the community room. They sat me in the "special" chair and told me to wait there. I sat there anxiously waiting for my surprise. The children, and their parents began filling the community room. I found it strange that so many families were at the hospital during normal working hours, but I didn't question it further. I was excited to see what the special occasion was. As the families filed in, I notice each family was holding a piece of paper. Once everyone was in the room the offering began. One-by-one the children showed me their papers. The families had individually made a drawing for me to show how much I have impacted their lives. As each family presented their picture to me, my heart grew warmer. Naturally tears of joy and gratitude began streaming down my cheeks. After all of the families were finished presenting their drawings, the parents collected the papers, and bound them all together into a picture book. They told me that children wanted me to have a piece of them with me wherever I go. I took the book, and held it tightly in my arms. This is one gift I will cherish forever.
If that wasn't enough, the parents told me that they had another present for me. All of the kids, and parents had come up with a t-shirt design for a booster campaign. They wanted to sponsor a fundraiser for me to help out with my medical bills, and traveling expenses to Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in NYC. Nathan's parents (Nathan was the inspiration for Superhero Day) shared the idea with the other children, and their families. All of the families were onboard, so they began brainstorming about the graphic for the t-shirt. After a couple craft sessions, the families were ready to bequeath the design to me.
A little back story... Last month, I sponsored a booster campaign, and designed a t-shirt for Nathan's family to help with their medical expenses. The fundraiser helped ease some financial stress for them, and they wanted to return the favor to me.
Nathan and his family gathered around to show me the t-shirt idea, and I was completely enamored by the amount of thought, and love that went into the design. The children and their families have all noticed, and commented on my tattoos. One of them always seems to stand out. The words Courage and Strength tattooed on my right forearm with the Irish symbol for courage always tugs on the heartstrings of those whom see it. I wear it proudly as a reminder to stay strong through each treatment and each setback, as well as, to remain courageous going into each new day.
The tears were again flowing as the family reviled the graphic for the t-shirt. Everyone knew it would be an emotional moment, and it would be difficult to get the words out, so they typed out why the choose the specific design. Nathan's sister scrolled down on the computer to show me what they had written.
It read:
The graphic design for this t-shirt was designed by children and parents that Meg visits at the Cancer Center in Syracuse, NY. The idea was sparked from the tattoo Meg has on her right forearm. The true spirit of the words Courage and Strength live within Meg. Her unwavering fight towards a cure for her cancer, and the support she has for her fellow cancer patients is awe-inspiring. Meg is the epitome of Courage and Strength! Her never-back-down approach to cancer, and her positive outlook on life is a gift to us all! We love you Meg!
We were all blubbering messes! Children, parents, nurses, and doctors were all gathered around. Needless to say, we all had a good cry, at one point, or another. Oy Vey!
Thanksgiving is next week, but regardless of what month it is, I have A LOT to be thankful for!
If you would like to see the t-shirt design, or would like to order a t-shirt to support my fundraiser, please visit www.Booster.com. The campaign is called: Hope For Meg (It may take a day for the campaign to get up and running).
Thank you
As I entered the children's floor at the cancer center this morning, I was greeted with overwhelming happiness and love. The children, and their parents had a wonderful gift for me. Two of the kids ran to me, grabbed my hands, and led me into the community room. They sat me in the "special" chair and told me to wait there. I sat there anxiously waiting for my surprise. The children, and their parents began filling the community room. I found it strange that so many families were at the hospital during normal working hours, but I didn't question it further. I was excited to see what the special occasion was. As the families filed in, I notice each family was holding a piece of paper. Once everyone was in the room the offering began. One-by-one the children showed me their papers. The families had individually made a drawing for me to show how much I have impacted their lives. As each family presented their picture to me, my heart grew warmer. Naturally tears of joy and gratitude began streaming down my cheeks. After all of the families were finished presenting their drawings, the parents collected the papers, and bound them all together into a picture book. They told me that children wanted me to have a piece of them with me wherever I go. I took the book, and held it tightly in my arms. This is one gift I will cherish forever.
If that wasn't enough, the parents told me that they had another present for me. All of the kids, and parents had come up with a t-shirt design for a booster campaign. They wanted to sponsor a fundraiser for me to help out with my medical bills, and traveling expenses to Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in NYC. Nathan's parents (Nathan was the inspiration for Superhero Day) shared the idea with the other children, and their families. All of the families were onboard, so they began brainstorming about the graphic for the t-shirt. After a couple craft sessions, the families were ready to bequeath the design to me.
A little back story... Last month, I sponsored a booster campaign, and designed a t-shirt for Nathan's family to help with their medical expenses. The fundraiser helped ease some financial stress for them, and they wanted to return the favor to me.
Nathan and his family gathered around to show me the t-shirt idea, and I was completely enamored by the amount of thought, and love that went into the design. The children and their families have all noticed, and commented on my tattoos. One of them always seems to stand out. The words Courage and Strength tattooed on my right forearm with the Irish symbol for courage always tugs on the heartstrings of those whom see it. I wear it proudly as a reminder to stay strong through each treatment and each setback, as well as, to remain courageous going into each new day.
The tears were again flowing as the family reviled the graphic for the t-shirt. Everyone knew it would be an emotional moment, and it would be difficult to get the words out, so they typed out why the choose the specific design. Nathan's sister scrolled down on the computer to show me what they had written.
It read:
The graphic design for this t-shirt was designed by children and parents that Meg visits at the Cancer Center in Syracuse, NY. The idea was sparked from the tattoo Meg has on her right forearm. The true spirit of the words Courage and Strength live within Meg. Her unwavering fight towards a cure for her cancer, and the support she has for her fellow cancer patients is awe-inspiring. Meg is the epitome of Courage and Strength! Her never-back-down approach to cancer, and her positive outlook on life is a gift to us all! We love you Meg!
We were all blubbering messes! Children, parents, nurses, and doctors were all gathered around. Needless to say, we all had a good cry, at one point, or another. Oy Vey!
Thanksgiving is next week, but regardless of what month it is, I have A LOT to be thankful for!
If you would like to see the t-shirt design, or would like to order a t-shirt to support my fundraiser, please visit www.Booster.com. The campaign is called: Hope For Meg (It may take a day for the campaign to get up and running).
Thank you
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