It's not how much you accomplish in life
that really counts,
but how much you give to others.
It's not how high you build your dreams
that makes a difference,
but how high your faith can climb.
It's not how many goals you reach,
but how many lives you touch.
It's not who you know that matters,
but who you are inside and out.
Believe in the impossible,
hold tight to the incredible,
and live each day to its fullest potential.
You can make a difference
in your world.
You have the capability to change the lives of others
just by being there to listen, being a should to cry on,
or a hand to hold.
Love purely,
and that love will be given in return.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Tales from the hospital
It is absolutely amazing the things you see, hear and experience at the hospital. It varies from the Emergency Room to being admitted to the hospital. I have been to more ER's than I can count, and I have been admitted to quite a few hospitals as well.
I am blown away by the different types of doctors, nurses, and facilities that I have come across. I understand that both doctors and nurses have multiple patients with all different needs. Each institution, and staff run their programs in more ways than I can count. There are some hospitals that are run like a well-oiled machine. Every patient is treated in the same manner. At these facilities I tend to feel like just a number. The doctors and nurses get only the immediate information, and provide care in a timely manner. They don't want to know anything more than they feel is pertainante to the matter at hand. Time is of the essence in these types of hospitals. Needless to say, the bed-side manner at these hospitals is less than welcoming.
Then there is the complete opposite. There are hospitals where the doctors and nurses want to know every detail of the current situation, and any prior illnesses, or hospitalizations. This type of facility can be as equally stressful because you are constantly being questioned, and asked to remember all of your medical history on the spot. When you're in pain, or in any type of discomfort, it's difficult to remember dates of every illness you've ever had! Considering my medical history, it's close to impossible to remember all of my medical situations. On a lighter note, in general, the bed-side manner is much more pleasant.
I am being pretty general in theses situations, but from what I have gone through, these are the typical experiences that will be had from hospital-to-hospital.
The patients are a completely different story! There are so many different types of personalities that come through the hospital system. I have encountered elderly men yelling down the halls saying no one will let them go to the bathroom. I have seen a team of heavy-set, and very intimadating lesbians threatening to beat up everyone in the waiting room if they aren't the next patients called back. There have been patients sitting next to me in the waiting room chairs asking me to put their head on my shoulder because they are so tired. I have had patients yell at nurses because they were mad that I was going back before them. They said I didn't look as sick as they were. I have also had the completely opposite, where a complete stranger has scolded a nurse for not getting me back fast enough!
Once you make it past the initial triage area it's a "crap shoot" what is waiting behind those hospital doors. I have had nurses who were nothing but rude to me the entire time I was in their care. I have also had nurses that are so caring and check on you every free second they get. The thing that amazes me the most is the education level of nurses. Some nurses you can ask any question, whether it be medical related or not,and they can answer without any hesitation. Then there are the nurses that are dumber than a box of rocks. I feel like I know more than they know about healthcare, and I could take better care of myself. These types of nurses usually end up hurting me more than helping me, and I have the bruises and scars to prove it!
Since I have a been around so many nurses and doctors, I have learned when to take control of my healthcare, and speak up when I feel something is wrong. I also have learned when to trust my gut and completely rely on trusted doctors and nurses.
My current health situation doesn't allow Jeff and I to get out-and-about much, but it has not limited us to the amount of crazy things we see and experience! We have many laughs, and many tears each time we are at the hospital, or any other facilities where I have treatment.
Jeff and I have the most abnormal lifestyle, but these are the cards when have been dealt right now. We choose not to be bitter, and just enjoy the time we have together, even if it's sitting in a hospital room! I have learned that no matter where you are, if you are with the ones you love, there is no better place to be! Oh, I have also learned to never piss off the nurses...they are the ones with the drugs! Haha!
I am blown away by the different types of doctors, nurses, and facilities that I have come across. I understand that both doctors and nurses have multiple patients with all different needs. Each institution, and staff run their programs in more ways than I can count. There are some hospitals that are run like a well-oiled machine. Every patient is treated in the same manner. At these facilities I tend to feel like just a number. The doctors and nurses get only the immediate information, and provide care in a timely manner. They don't want to know anything more than they feel is pertainante to the matter at hand. Time is of the essence in these types of hospitals. Needless to say, the bed-side manner at these hospitals is less than welcoming.
Then there is the complete opposite. There are hospitals where the doctors and nurses want to know every detail of the current situation, and any prior illnesses, or hospitalizations. This type of facility can be as equally stressful because you are constantly being questioned, and asked to remember all of your medical history on the spot. When you're in pain, or in any type of discomfort, it's difficult to remember dates of every illness you've ever had! Considering my medical history, it's close to impossible to remember all of my medical situations. On a lighter note, in general, the bed-side manner is much more pleasant.
I am being pretty general in theses situations, but from what I have gone through, these are the typical experiences that will be had from hospital-to-hospital.
The patients are a completely different story! There are so many different types of personalities that come through the hospital system. I have encountered elderly men yelling down the halls saying no one will let them go to the bathroom. I have seen a team of heavy-set, and very intimadating lesbians threatening to beat up everyone in the waiting room if they aren't the next patients called back. There have been patients sitting next to me in the waiting room chairs asking me to put their head on my shoulder because they are so tired. I have had patients yell at nurses because they were mad that I was going back before them. They said I didn't look as sick as they were. I have also had the completely opposite, where a complete stranger has scolded a nurse for not getting me back fast enough!
Once you make it past the initial triage area it's a "crap shoot" what is waiting behind those hospital doors. I have had nurses who were nothing but rude to me the entire time I was in their care. I have also had nurses that are so caring and check on you every free second they get. The thing that amazes me the most is the education level of nurses. Some nurses you can ask any question, whether it be medical related or not,and they can answer without any hesitation. Then there are the nurses that are dumber than a box of rocks. I feel like I know more than they know about healthcare, and I could take better care of myself. These types of nurses usually end up hurting me more than helping me, and I have the bruises and scars to prove it!
Since I have a been around so many nurses and doctors, I have learned when to take control of my healthcare, and speak up when I feel something is wrong. I also have learned when to trust my gut and completely rely on trusted doctors and nurses.
My current health situation doesn't allow Jeff and I to get out-and-about much, but it has not limited us to the amount of crazy things we see and experience! We have many laughs, and many tears each time we are at the hospital, or any other facilities where I have treatment.
Jeff and I have the most abnormal lifestyle, but these are the cards when have been dealt right now. We choose not to be bitter, and just enjoy the time we have together, even if it's sitting in a hospital room! I have learned that no matter where you are, if you are with the ones you love, there is no better place to be! Oh, I have also learned to never piss off the nurses...they are the ones with the drugs! Haha!
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Climb
Often your tasks will be many,
And more than you think you can do.
Often the road will be rugged
And the hills insurmountable, too.
But always remember,
The hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with Faith in your heart
Start upward
And climb 'til you reach your dream.
For nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it,
And you have the faith to believe.
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill,
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in yourself and your will.
For faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that you cannot do,
So, start out today with faith in your heart,
And climb 'til your dream comes true!
And more than you think you can do.
Often the road will be rugged
And the hills insurmountable, too.
But always remember,
The hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with Faith in your heart
Start upward
And climb 'til you reach your dream.
For nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it,
And you have the faith to believe.
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill,
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in yourself and your will.
For faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that you cannot do,
So, start out today with faith in your heart,
And climb 'til your dream comes true!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Lady in Red
Everyday I walk by a woman sitting in the waiting room wearing a red outfit. It never fails, everyday she is in red from head-to-toe. We are always polite to one another, and exchange a friendly hello. That's as far as it usually goes because it seems she is always finishing her treatment when I'm coming in to start mine.
The other day I had a an earlier treatment time because I had a different appointment later in the day. I was excited to have the chance to talk to her. When I got to the hospital I didn't see her. I was bummed becuse I thought I missed her. Luckily, she was just in a different area and she soon returned to the main oncology area.
We got to to chatting about anything, and everything. I heard all about her children and grandchildren. I told her about my family, and my wonderful friends. We became fast friends. I felt comfortable able enough to ask her why she only wears red. She told me that her husband had recently past, and he loved the color red. He always said she looked beautiful in red, so she was wearing red to honor him. She told me she bought all new clothes, so she could wear red everyday. She said she didn't care what anyone else thought about it. She was doing it because it's simething she wanted to do, and it made her feel like her husband was still with her everyday.
I was so touched by her story. She didn't care what other people thought of her behavior. She was doing what was best for her. She wore red to help cope with the loss of the one she loved the most. I told her she looked beautiful in her red get-up, and to keep sporting her red outfits. I know her hubby is looking down smiling everyday seeing her heart-warming tribute to her late husband.
She really made me thing about my life and what I have been wearing. Going through treatments, I have heightened sensitivities to taste, smell, and especially touch. I cannot handle the feeling of denim, silk, and many other types of fabric. I can pretty much only wear cotton. I feel like a slob 90% of the time because I am wearing a sweatshirt and cotton pants. The only time I look semi-pretty is when I can find a nice cotton dress.
After talking to Anita( the lady in red ). She mad me realize it doesn't matter what we wear. Our clothes do not define us. We don't have to explain our outfits to anyone. Clothing is just clothing. There are so many more important things in life
The other day I had a an earlier treatment time because I had a different appointment later in the day. I was excited to have the chance to talk to her. When I got to the hospital I didn't see her. I was bummed becuse I thought I missed her. Luckily, she was just in a different area and she soon returned to the main oncology area.
We got to to chatting about anything, and everything. I heard all about her children and grandchildren. I told her about my family, and my wonderful friends. We became fast friends. I felt comfortable able enough to ask her why she only wears red. She told me that her husband had recently past, and he loved the color red. He always said she looked beautiful in red, so she was wearing red to honor him. She told me she bought all new clothes, so she could wear red everyday. She said she didn't care what anyone else thought about it. She was doing it because it's simething she wanted to do, and it made her feel like her husband was still with her everyday.
I was so touched by her story. She didn't care what other people thought of her behavior. She was doing what was best for her. She wore red to help cope with the loss of the one she loved the most. I told her she looked beautiful in her red get-up, and to keep sporting her red outfits. I know her hubby is looking down smiling everyday seeing her heart-warming tribute to her late husband.
She really made me thing about my life and what I have been wearing. Going through treatments, I have heightened sensitivities to taste, smell, and especially touch. I cannot handle the feeling of denim, silk, and many other types of fabric. I can pretty much only wear cotton. I feel like a slob 90% of the time because I am wearing a sweatshirt and cotton pants. The only time I look semi-pretty is when I can find a nice cotton dress.
After talking to Anita( the lady in red ). She mad me realize it doesn't matter what we wear. Our clothes do not define us. We don't have to explain our outfits to anyone. Clothing is just clothing. There are so many more important things in life
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Alice
I have ment so many fantastic people throughout all of my hospital stays. I have been admitted to hospitals in five different states. I have come across many nurses and doctors. It's hard to make connections to them all because of the different shifts they may work, or they are simply overwhelmed with patients to spend much one-on-one time with each person.
The strongest connection I have made with any worker in the medical field has been here in Arizona. I'm not trying to be rude, but comparatively the nurses in Arizona have terrible bed-side manner than any other state. I feel like I am mostly just a number to the nurses out here. The woman has made an incredible impact on my life is the charge nurse on the oncology floor at Mayo Clinic.
She is an older woman who recently lost her husband. She has no children, so she calls me her adopt-a-granddaughter. The most ironic part is that her name is Alice. My grandmother on my mother's side was named Alice. She and I were extremely close. She passed away a few years ago. Her passing was and still is extremely difficult for me to deal with. I think of her all the time.
I don't believe in a lot of weird spiritual stuff. I consider myself a pretty practical person, but I believe that my Grandma Alice sent nurse Alice to me. I used to go to my Grandma for everything; happy, sad, worry, anything that was on my mind. She always had a way to make me feel better and view the situation in a different light. With my family being so far away I can now go to nurse Alice with anything that is on my mind. I love having a grandmother type relationship again. No one will ever take the place of my Grandma Alice, but I once again have that outlet to go to anytime I need to. She knows that I will always be there for her as well.
The thing that made me know for sure that my Grandma Alice sent nurse Alice to me was a situation that was all too familiar with my grams. I was standing at the nurses station one day talking to some of the girls when I ask if anyone had a mint. I felt like I had bad breath. From over in the corner I heard Alice say "I have some Certs in my purse". She asked if I wanted spearmint or cinnamon. I immediately had a flashback of my Grandma. She ALWAYS had cinnamon Certs in her purse and would always give them to us kids. I had the biggest smile on my face, and I said I would love a cinnamon Cert. I didn't even know they still made Certs. It was a clear sign to me that my Grams was watching over me.
I believe miracles happen everyday. They may be as small as bringing a wonderful memory to our mind, or they can be as monumental as finding cures for illnesses. As I go through all of this I am trying to recognize and appreciate the many different types of miracles we all come across each and every day.
The strongest connection I have made with any worker in the medical field has been here in Arizona. I'm not trying to be rude, but comparatively the nurses in Arizona have terrible bed-side manner than any other state. I feel like I am mostly just a number to the nurses out here. The woman has made an incredible impact on my life is the charge nurse on the oncology floor at Mayo Clinic.
She is an older woman who recently lost her husband. She has no children, so she calls me her adopt-a-granddaughter. The most ironic part is that her name is Alice. My grandmother on my mother's side was named Alice. She and I were extremely close. She passed away a few years ago. Her passing was and still is extremely difficult for me to deal with. I think of her all the time.
I don't believe in a lot of weird spiritual stuff. I consider myself a pretty practical person, but I believe that my Grandma Alice sent nurse Alice to me. I used to go to my Grandma for everything; happy, sad, worry, anything that was on my mind. She always had a way to make me feel better and view the situation in a different light. With my family being so far away I can now go to nurse Alice with anything that is on my mind. I love having a grandmother type relationship again. No one will ever take the place of my Grandma Alice, but I once again have that outlet to go to anytime I need to. She knows that I will always be there for her as well.
The thing that made me know for sure that my Grandma Alice sent nurse Alice to me was a situation that was all too familiar with my grams. I was standing at the nurses station one day talking to some of the girls when I ask if anyone had a mint. I felt like I had bad breath. From over in the corner I heard Alice say "I have some Certs in my purse". She asked if I wanted spearmint or cinnamon. I immediately had a flashback of my Grandma. She ALWAYS had cinnamon Certs in her purse and would always give them to us kids. I had the biggest smile on my face, and I said I would love a cinnamon Cert. I didn't even know they still made Certs. It was a clear sign to me that my Grams was watching over me.
I believe miracles happen everyday. They may be as small as bringing a wonderful memory to our mind, or they can be as monumental as finding cures for illnesses. As I go through all of this I am trying to recognize and appreciate the many different types of miracles we all come across each and every day.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Special Two
I was in the doctor's office the other week...a regular occurrence for me. I was sitting in the waiting room with approximately eight other people. There was a mother there with her two children. One of her son's had a form of MS or Downs Syndrome. Clearly, they were at the doctor for an appointment regarding his health. He was a new patient, so the mother was filling out a lot of paperwork and discussing her son's condition with the nurse. He other son was a ball of energy, and was wanting to be anywhere else than a doctor's office. The mother was trying her best to be take care of both of her son's needs. At one point I heard her younger son ask why they kept saying his brother was "special". He asked her why he wasn't "special" too. The mother kind of shrugged of his question because she was overwhelmed by paperwork and nurses questions.
I had been watching this situation and felt for the younger boy. I know it's difficult to sit still while all the attention is being put on his brother. I decided to go over to the woman and her sons. I asked them there names. Their mother said the boy with health issues was Patrick and the younger boy was Drew. I could see in the mother's eyes how stressed she was. I wanted to do something to ease her stress level. I asked Drew if he wanted to come over to the table and color with me. He looked at his mom. She gave him the ok, so we went over to color.
Shortly after getting to the coloring area, the nurse called my name to go back. I asked if a few other patients could go ahead of me, so I could stay with Drew while Patrick and his mother had their appointment. She said that was fine, so Drew and I continued to color. We decided to draw pictures for each other. He colored a horse for me. I made him a a cheerful sunshine picture. We were finishing up our art as Patrick and his mother came back into the waiting room. It was time for us to exchange pictures. I wrote "To my Special Friend" on his. He was so excited to see that I wrote that on his picture. He ran up to his mom and said, "Mommy, Mommy! I'm special too". Drew had a huge smile on his face and he ran back to me and gave me a big hug!
As the family was leaving the mother came over to me and put her hand on my forearm. She thanked me five or six times for helping with Drew while Patrick had his doctor's appointment. I told her it was no trouble, and that we had a lot of fun. She told me I was a beautiful soul as she brushed a tear from her eye. I told her it was my pleasure, and I gave the boys hugs as the family left the office.
I carry the picture Drew made for me in my purse everyday. It reminds me me that we are all special in our own ways. Embrace who you are and don't be afraid to show the "true" you at all times!
I had been watching this situation and felt for the younger boy. I know it's difficult to sit still while all the attention is being put on his brother. I decided to go over to the woman and her sons. I asked them there names. Their mother said the boy with health issues was Patrick and the younger boy was Drew. I could see in the mother's eyes how stressed she was. I wanted to do something to ease her stress level. I asked Drew if he wanted to come over to the table and color with me. He looked at his mom. She gave him the ok, so we went over to color.
Shortly after getting to the coloring area, the nurse called my name to go back. I asked if a few other patients could go ahead of me, so I could stay with Drew while Patrick and his mother had their appointment. She said that was fine, so Drew and I continued to color. We decided to draw pictures for each other. He colored a horse for me. I made him a a cheerful sunshine picture. We were finishing up our art as Patrick and his mother came back into the waiting room. It was time for us to exchange pictures. I wrote "To my Special Friend" on his. He was so excited to see that I wrote that on his picture. He ran up to his mom and said, "Mommy, Mommy! I'm special too". Drew had a huge smile on his face and he ran back to me and gave me a big hug!
As the family was leaving the mother came over to me and put her hand on my forearm. She thanked me five or six times for helping with Drew while Patrick had his doctor's appointment. I told her it was no trouble, and that we had a lot of fun. She told me I was a beautiful soul as she brushed a tear from her eye. I told her it was my pleasure, and I gave the boys hugs as the family left the office.
I carry the picture Drew made for me in my purse everyday. It reminds me me that we are all special in our own ways. Embrace who you are and don't be afraid to show the "true" you at all times!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Hands
When I'm feeling sad
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling scared
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling lost
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling alone
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling happy
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling excited
Put your hand in mine
When I am feeling silly
Put your hand in mine
When I don't know what I'm feeling
Put your hand in mine
As long as I feel your hand grasping mine
I know I can get through anything
When you put your hand in mine
My heart is filled with warmth
This is no better feeling than having your hand in mine
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling scared
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling lost
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling alone
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling happy
Put your hand in mine
When I'm feeling excited
Put your hand in mine
When I am feeling silly
Put your hand in mine
When I don't know what I'm feeling
Put your hand in mine
As long as I feel your hand grasping mine
I know I can get through anything
When you put your hand in mine
My heart is filled with warmth
This is no better feeling than having your hand in mine
Monday, April 9, 2012
Birches
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.
This is a clip from one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost. I find it to be very intriguing, and I usually read it once a week.
I used to be very afraid of death. I couldn't even think about it without panicking. My view on death has changed drastically. I am forced to deal with it everyday. There is a good chance that my cancer could kill me. I am also around many people with serious diseases. I have learned to accept dealth for what it is. Death is a part of life. I'd like to think when I leave this world it will be as peaceful as swinging from a birch tree. When my time comes I will not be sad, but be happy for all of the wonderful memories I get to take with me.
I think about the stupid little fights that I had with my sister when we were young. We can know look back at them and laugh. Back then I never thought my sister would be my best friend, and the one person who knows me inside and out. She is my rock. She keeps me positive. I can feel how genuine her words are every time we talk. She keeps me level-headed and gives me the motivation to beat this awful disease! Thank you Danielle. I love you so much!
The other major issues I have had to come to terms with is that my parents might out-live me. That's a hard pill to swallow( no pun intended). Growing up you assume that everything will go in a perfect sequence; you go through school, you get married, you have kids and so on. My life has taking a different path. I was fighting illnesses since my senior year of high school, and continue to fight them. I was fortunated enough to find an amazing man who was crazy enough to marry me. I don't know why he would want to be stuck with a mess like me, but he's always there for me. I adore him. That word doesn't even do him justice. There is no word good enough to explain how wonderful my husband is!
I have had a wonderful life up to this point. I want to continue on grow and learning, but I'm ok with the fact that my life might end shorter than than planned. I have so many memories with so many amazing people! Even if I'm no longer on this Earth, I hope those memories live on! I know they'll stay with me forever! I treat everyday as if it's my last. I going to enjoy life, and spend time with the ones I love the most! My parents are incredible, but I'm unbelievably fortunate to have friends who make surprise visits to see me and organize cancer benefits for me! What more could I ask for?
Life is a gift! I'm not going to take it for granted anymore!
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.
This is a clip from one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost. I find it to be very intriguing, and I usually read it once a week.
I used to be very afraid of death. I couldn't even think about it without panicking. My view on death has changed drastically. I am forced to deal with it everyday. There is a good chance that my cancer could kill me. I am also around many people with serious diseases. I have learned to accept dealth for what it is. Death is a part of life. I'd like to think when I leave this world it will be as peaceful as swinging from a birch tree. When my time comes I will not be sad, but be happy for all of the wonderful memories I get to take with me.
I think about the stupid little fights that I had with my sister when we were young. We can know look back at them and laugh. Back then I never thought my sister would be my best friend, and the one person who knows me inside and out. She is my rock. She keeps me positive. I can feel how genuine her words are every time we talk. She keeps me level-headed and gives me the motivation to beat this awful disease! Thank you Danielle. I love you so much!
The other major issues I have had to come to terms with is that my parents might out-live me. That's a hard pill to swallow( no pun intended). Growing up you assume that everything will go in a perfect sequence; you go through school, you get married, you have kids and so on. My life has taking a different path. I was fighting illnesses since my senior year of high school, and continue to fight them. I was fortunated enough to find an amazing man who was crazy enough to marry me. I don't know why he would want to be stuck with a mess like me, but he's always there for me. I adore him. That word doesn't even do him justice. There is no word good enough to explain how wonderful my husband is!
I have had a wonderful life up to this point. I want to continue on grow and learning, but I'm ok with the fact that my life might end shorter than than planned. I have so many memories with so many amazing people! Even if I'm no longer on this Earth, I hope those memories live on! I know they'll stay with me forever! I treat everyday as if it's my last. I going to enjoy life, and spend time with the ones I love the most! My parents are incredible, but I'm unbelievably fortunate to have friends who make surprise visits to see me and organize cancer benefits for me! What more could I ask for?
Life is a gift! I'm not going to take it for granted anymore!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Question
Lately I have been coming across many people in my life, young and old, who have left me feeling perplexed.
I have seven tattoos. Most of them are covered at all times. They range from quarter size to a full forearm tattoo. When people do see them they always say things like: "Wow, you have tattoos". I also hear that I look too young and innocent to have tattoos. I get so confused by these statements. Everyone of my tattoos have meaning and are in no way offensive. Tattoos are becoming more and more accepted these days that I find it strange that people still have such terrible views of body art. Tattoos are for every person, all shapes, sizes, young, old, color, ect. I say express yourself whichever way best suits you! I know I'll continue getting tattoos for years to come whether people like it or not.
The other statement I hear ALL of the time is; "You don't look like you have cancer". What does cancer look like? I don't understand why people think I would change so drastically after my diagnosis. I know that weight changes and hair loss are the main physical side effects of a cancer diagnosis, but not everyone goes through the same changes. My weight has fluctuated in many ways, the texture and the strength of my hair has changed, and I have heightened sensitivities to taste, touch and smell. I don't think I make any big cammotions when my sensitivities flair. I just move on from them. I'm still crazy, fun-loving Meg! I just get tuckered out faster than I used to. :)
These things have been on my mind a lot lately. I just don't understand why so many people view you differently after making a personal change, whether it's by choice, or not.
Am I the only one who feels this way? What are your thoughts on this topic? I choose the people I want in my life by things we have in common and the connections we make. Why is there so much so superficiality when true beauty is in the flaws and individuality of people.
I have seven tattoos. Most of them are covered at all times. They range from quarter size to a full forearm tattoo. When people do see them they always say things like: "Wow, you have tattoos". I also hear that I look too young and innocent to have tattoos. I get so confused by these statements. Everyone of my tattoos have meaning and are in no way offensive. Tattoos are becoming more and more accepted these days that I find it strange that people still have such terrible views of body art. Tattoos are for every person, all shapes, sizes, young, old, color, ect. I say express yourself whichever way best suits you! I know I'll continue getting tattoos for years to come whether people like it or not.
The other statement I hear ALL of the time is; "You don't look like you have cancer". What does cancer look like? I don't understand why people think I would change so drastically after my diagnosis. I know that weight changes and hair loss are the main physical side effects of a cancer diagnosis, but not everyone goes through the same changes. My weight has fluctuated in many ways, the texture and the strength of my hair has changed, and I have heightened sensitivities to taste, touch and smell. I don't think I make any big cammotions when my sensitivities flair. I just move on from them. I'm still crazy, fun-loving Meg! I just get tuckered out faster than I used to. :)
These things have been on my mind a lot lately. I just don't understand why so many people view you differently after making a personal change, whether it's by choice, or not.
Am I the only one who feels this way? What are your thoughts on this topic? I choose the people I want in my life by things we have in common and the connections we make. Why is there so much so superficiality when true beauty is in the flaws and individuality of people.
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