Saturday, June 28, 2014
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Asher
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Asher: A couple weeks ago, one of the children at the hospital celebrated his birthday. He turned six years old. I enjoy planning parties, and be...
Asher
A couple weeks ago, one of the children at the hospital celebrated his birthday. He turned six years old. I enjoy planning parties, and being involved in all the children's unit activities. Naturally, I offered to plan the party. Asher's mother had past away after delivering her newborn son. He is an only child without any half-siblings, or many friends. His father has to work long hours in order to pay for his son's medical bills. I wanted to make the event extra special because Asher's health has been deteriorating. The doctors and hospital staff are giving up hope. I could see in his father's eyes that he is planning for the death of his son. Whether or not, I was determined that Asher would conquer his current battles and will continue the treatments he needs to beat his cancer. No matter what, I determined going to surprise him with fantastic and fun-filled birthday party to take his mind of his health. He needed a day of fun and being spoiled!
I called in a couple of favors from friends I know in the area. I also collected funds to pay for ,decorations, the cake, and beverages. The hospital staff was more than accommodating. The parents and friends of the fellow cancer patients chipped in make the sixth birthday an outstanding soiree.
My most important mission was to talk to his father. I knew that he would know better than anyone else what type of entertainment Asher would like at his birthday bash. One afternoon, I pulled Asher's dad, Paul, into the hall to chat about the party. I informed him that I had everything organized and planned. The last item on my list was to book the entertainment. Without hesitation he blurted out "magician". I was surprised that he came up with an idea so quickly. I thanked him, and quickly started my search for the perfect birthday party magician. I was fortunate to find a quality magician fairly quickly. The shindig was planned, and ready to be set into motion.
On the day of his birthday extravaganza, Asher stood in a state of shock and awe. He has been in and out of hospitals most of his life, so he never had a "real" birthday parties. His face lit up with excitement. He ran over to his dad and gave him a giant hug. After greeting his dad, Asher rushed over to me for a big bear hug. The next few hours were unforgettable. All of this children enjoyed playing the games, watching the magic show, and eating all the yummy birthday treats(I'm sure the nurses weren't very happy that they were all hopped up on sugar). Sorry nurses.... The kids had a blast. That what was most important aspect of the birthday bash, to me anyway. Forgetting about an illness your plagued with, or someone you love his struggling with everyday can be nearly impossible. Even if I was only able to give the children a few hours of freedom, I consider that an accomplishment!
I had to leave the celebration a little early, so I could go take care of my treatments. I went over to Asher to wish him Happy Birthday once more, and give him a big hug! He was bummed that I had to leave, but he understood. He asked if he could walk me out. I told him he was such a gentleman, and of course, he could walk me out. As we walked through the conference room door and into the hallway Asher grabbed my hand and, stopped me in my tracks. He told me that he had one more thing he needed to say and do. I knelt down, so I could look him in the eyes. I could see that his mood had changed. I was confused. He then told me that he knew the magician in the room wasn't "real". I asked him why he thought that. He went on to say that those kind a magicians just do tricks to make people laugh, and/or to surprise them. He said it was all fake. I apologized to him about getting entertainment that he didn't enjoy. He quickly interrupted me and told me not to be sad. He did enjoy the illusions the magician showed everyone. He continued on to say that he knows the difference between real magic and fake magic. I asked him what the different was. He lifted his head, and looked me in the eyes. He said you are magical. I'm was dumbfounded. I didn't understand. I explained to him that I wasn't magical. I don't know any tricks, or any illusions. He reiterated that those things do make a magician magical. They are just putting on a show for money and for laughs. I couldn't believe the wisdom that was coming from this young boy. I'm sure I still had a look of confusion on my face.
I asked him why he thought I was magical. He expressed to me that I am the only one whom can put smiles on his face and his dad's face. As I mentioned above Asher's mom passed away very soon after he was born. He told me that she comes to him in his dreams. They talk about how Asher is doing, and how Asher's dad Paul is doing. Every time he sees her in his dreams she tells him that she is his guardian angel from up above, and she has sent an angel spirit down to earth to take care of him(that angel being me). My eyes welled up with tears. I was speechless. We embraced each other tightly as he whispered in my ear "thank you for being my angel here on earth. I love you". I couldn't hold the tears in any longer. They were streaming down my cheeks. I composed myself the best I could. I kissed him on the forehead and told him I love him too. Then I told him to go back and enjoy the rest of his birthday bash, and I will be back to visit vert soon.
No more that 15 minutes later Asher's father called me. He thanked me profusely for organizing such a wonderful kid/adult friendly party. I told him there was no need to thank me. It was my pleasure. Before we hung up he said to me that he is grateful there all still angels on Earth.
Whether you are religious, spiritual, or completely unsure about what to believe. Just remember to believe that everyone has good in themselves. Don't be afraid to show your weaknesses, your sensitive side, or quirky side. Explore all aspects of you who you are. You may be surprised by what you reveal.
I called in a couple of favors from friends I know in the area. I also collected funds to pay for ,decorations, the cake, and beverages. The hospital staff was more than accommodating. The parents and friends of the fellow cancer patients chipped in make the sixth birthday an outstanding soiree.
My most important mission was to talk to his father. I knew that he would know better than anyone else what type of entertainment Asher would like at his birthday bash. One afternoon, I pulled Asher's dad, Paul, into the hall to chat about the party. I informed him that I had everything organized and planned. The last item on my list was to book the entertainment. Without hesitation he blurted out "magician". I was surprised that he came up with an idea so quickly. I thanked him, and quickly started my search for the perfect birthday party magician. I was fortunate to find a quality magician fairly quickly. The shindig was planned, and ready to be set into motion.
On the day of his birthday extravaganza, Asher stood in a state of shock and awe. He has been in and out of hospitals most of his life, so he never had a "real" birthday parties. His face lit up with excitement. He ran over to his dad and gave him a giant hug. After greeting his dad, Asher rushed over to me for a big bear hug. The next few hours were unforgettable. All of this children enjoyed playing the games, watching the magic show, and eating all the yummy birthday treats(I'm sure the nurses weren't very happy that they were all hopped up on sugar). Sorry nurses.... The kids had a blast. That what was most important aspect of the birthday bash, to me anyway. Forgetting about an illness your plagued with, or someone you love his struggling with everyday can be nearly impossible. Even if I was only able to give the children a few hours of freedom, I consider that an accomplishment!
I had to leave the celebration a little early, so I could go take care of my treatments. I went over to Asher to wish him Happy Birthday once more, and give him a big hug! He was bummed that I had to leave, but he understood. He asked if he could walk me out. I told him he was such a gentleman, and of course, he could walk me out. As we walked through the conference room door and into the hallway Asher grabbed my hand and, stopped me in my tracks. He told me that he had one more thing he needed to say and do. I knelt down, so I could look him in the eyes. I could see that his mood had changed. I was confused. He then told me that he knew the magician in the room wasn't "real". I asked him why he thought that. He went on to say that those kind a magicians just do tricks to make people laugh, and/or to surprise them. He said it was all fake. I apologized to him about getting entertainment that he didn't enjoy. He quickly interrupted me and told me not to be sad. He did enjoy the illusions the magician showed everyone. He continued on to say that he knows the difference between real magic and fake magic. I asked him what the different was. He lifted his head, and looked me in the eyes. He said you are magical. I'm was dumbfounded. I didn't understand. I explained to him that I wasn't magical. I don't know any tricks, or any illusions. He reiterated that those things do make a magician magical. They are just putting on a show for money and for laughs. I couldn't believe the wisdom that was coming from this young boy. I'm sure I still had a look of confusion on my face.
I asked him why he thought I was magical. He expressed to me that I am the only one whom can put smiles on his face and his dad's face. As I mentioned above Asher's mom passed away very soon after he was born. He told me that she comes to him in his dreams. They talk about how Asher is doing, and how Asher's dad Paul is doing. Every time he sees her in his dreams she tells him that she is his guardian angel from up above, and she has sent an angel spirit down to earth to take care of him(that angel being me). My eyes welled up with tears. I was speechless. We embraced each other tightly as he whispered in my ear "thank you for being my angel here on earth. I love you". I couldn't hold the tears in any longer. They were streaming down my cheeks. I composed myself the best I could. I kissed him on the forehead and told him I love him too. Then I told him to go back and enjoy the rest of his birthday bash, and I will be back to visit vert soon.
No more that 15 minutes later Asher's father called me. He thanked me profusely for organizing such a wonderful kid/adult friendly party. I told him there was no need to thank me. It was my pleasure. Before we hung up he said to me that he is grateful there all still angels on Earth.
Whether you are religious, spiritual, or completely unsure about what to believe. Just remember to believe that everyone has good in themselves. Don't be afraid to show your weaknesses, your sensitive side, or quirky side. Explore all aspects of you who you are. You may be surprised by what you reveal.
Monday, June 23, 2014
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: A case of the Mondays
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: A case of the Mondays: Oh my, what a day! Starting bright and early this morning, the day launched into a frazzled panic. Everyone(human and canine) in the Klein...
A case of the Mondays
Oh my, what a day! Starting bright and early this morning, the day launched into a frazzled panic. Everyone(human and canine) in the Kleinman household was a hot mess, and less than prepared to begin the grueling day ahead. I can only speak for myself regarding the rest of the day, since my husband is still at work. Although, I'm quite certain that working a 14-15 hour day is wearing on his mind and body. The dogs seem to be well-rested, however. I almost positive their day consisted of barking out the windows, and taking extended naps. Must be nice...
My day was composed of random events all juggled around various treatments. On the way to the hospital, my medi-van driver had an allergic reaction to the power bar he was cramming down his throat. The reaction set in as he was driving down the highway. He was franticly gasping for air and holding his throat. The vehicle was screaming down the road at high speed, and without a driver. I was having a full-on anxiety attack in the backseat. Luckily, I was able to calm my nerves a bit and take command of the abandoned van. I pushed the driver over to the passenger seat and safely drove vehicle out of traffic and to a stop. I had no time to catch my breath. I needed to call 911. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. I quickly explained the situation. The operator told me that it would likely be faster for me to drive the man to the hospital and a police escort would catch up with me. I about peed my pants! I rarely, I'm talking VERY rarely drive. Since being diagnosed with cancer it's safer for me stay out of the drivers seat. My treatments and medications have many side effects that can compromise my ability to operate a motor vehicle. Honestly, in the past year I have driven twice. Needless to say, I was terrified about driving this man to the hospital. I had no time to waste. I could not worry about my fears and phobias in this moment. This man needed help. I shifted the car into drive and took off on the path to the emergency room. It felt like the drive was taking hours. My heart was pounding out of my chest and a hot flash took over my body. I had to calm down and stay focused. Fainting would only cause more problems for us both. Within five minutes, I heard the sirens and saw the flashing police lights come up behind the van. I was hoping this was my escort and not a cop trying to pull me over. I don't even know how fast I was going. The police car came flying up beside the van and pulled in front of me. Seconds later, another police car flanked the side of the van and another behind me. I was relieved to see that it was my escort. We arrived at the hospital a few minutes later. The ER staff was ready and waiting for us at the door. They transferred Tony to a gurney and wheeled him into a room. I could finally breath again. I sat in the drivers seat for almost 20 minutes trying to calm down. The hospital arranged a ride for me to get over to my treatment. I thanked them for organizing a ride for me, but I refused to leave until I knew Tony was stable and his wife was contacted. I sat in he waiting room until Tony's wife Estelle got to the hospital. The staff allowed me to take Estelle back to her husband's room. Tony was sitting upright on the gurney. His color had returned and he was breathing normally. Tony and Estelle shared a comforting hug. He then looked over at me with a wink and a smile. He thanked me for taking such good care of him. I swatted his leg and told him to never scare me like that again! We both laughed and embraced one another. Estelle promised me that she wouldn't let Tony leave the house without having breakfast again.
Seeing that Tony was back to himself, it was time for me to head over to the cancer center for treatment. I checked in with both Tony and Estelle throughout the rest of the day. The doctor decided to keep Tony there overnight for observation. He will be back home and back in the driver's seat again on Wednesday.
My time at treatment was fairly uneventful and mundane. I was actually happy that the afternoon was relaxed and quiet. I needed go to a zen place for a while and recharge after a hectic morning. I was able to veg-out and get lost in reality TV for a few hours. The time went by quickly. I was feeling some unpleasant repercussions of the chemo, so I was more than ready to head home for a nap.
I had one last stop to make before retreating to my couch for the rest of the night. It was time for my monthly pilgrimage to the pharmacy. I frequent the pharmacy multiple times a month, but once a month I have to go in and pick up my big haul. It's that one time each month I have to pick up the "heavy-hitters", if you will. Usually the visit is pretty easy, in-and-out. Not today, my friends, not today. I took all of three steps into the pharmacy when I got tripped by a toddler on a leash. I'm sorry, but if your child is that rambunctious that he/she needs to be strapped to you, it might be time to consider alternative behavior measures. You might even want to think about swapping he/she for a dog. I joke, of course. Anyway, this kid completely laid me out onto the cold tile floor. Head first into the condom aisle, naturally. You think I could catch a little slack, right?!? Maybe take a header into cotton balls, or socks? Possibly land on some nice plush carpet? Nope, I take a face-dive into the Magnums. Are you kidding me? If that wasn't enough, I start to taste blood. A box of "ribbed for her pleasure" condoms cut open my lip! If I wasn't already a hot mess after a morning/afternoon of chemotherapy, now I'm bleeding. Patrons of the store and employees flock over to me. They are all asking me if I'm ok while the crazy hyper kid is pulling his mom around the store. I am totally and completely embarrassed. All I want to do is get my meds and get the hell out of the drugstore. I take a second to get my balance, and walk straight to the pharmacy counter. I can see that the pharmacist is startled by my disheveled appearance. My cheeks are flushed, my nose is running, my eyes are watering causing my mascara to run, I'm bleeding and my hair is undoubtably a crazy mess! I picture myself looking like Cheri Oteri's SNL character Colette Reardon...the crazy pill lady. Trying to lighten the mood tell the pharmacist that I need pick up my prescriptions quickly on account of the fact that some punk kid clotheslined me at the front of the store. Thankfully, the pharmacist was familiar with the skit. We both cracked up laughing. He gathered my medications quickly and I hustled out the door. You better believe I cased the joint on my way through the aisles. I probably looked like I was going to rob the place, but I was only looking out for children cracked out on sugar and summertime freedom.
All I can say is, some days are good and some days are bad. Some are darn right crazy! I'm glad that no matter what there is always some thing to laugh about. It's no fun taking life too seriously. Have you laughed today?
My day was composed of random events all juggled around various treatments. On the way to the hospital, my medi-van driver had an allergic reaction to the power bar he was cramming down his throat. The reaction set in as he was driving down the highway. He was franticly gasping for air and holding his throat. The vehicle was screaming down the road at high speed, and without a driver. I was having a full-on anxiety attack in the backseat. Luckily, I was able to calm my nerves a bit and take command of the abandoned van. I pushed the driver over to the passenger seat and safely drove vehicle out of traffic and to a stop. I had no time to catch my breath. I needed to call 911. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. I quickly explained the situation. The operator told me that it would likely be faster for me to drive the man to the hospital and a police escort would catch up with me. I about peed my pants! I rarely, I'm talking VERY rarely drive. Since being diagnosed with cancer it's safer for me stay out of the drivers seat. My treatments and medications have many side effects that can compromise my ability to operate a motor vehicle. Honestly, in the past year I have driven twice. Needless to say, I was terrified about driving this man to the hospital. I had no time to waste. I could not worry about my fears and phobias in this moment. This man needed help. I shifted the car into drive and took off on the path to the emergency room. It felt like the drive was taking hours. My heart was pounding out of my chest and a hot flash took over my body. I had to calm down and stay focused. Fainting would only cause more problems for us both. Within five minutes, I heard the sirens and saw the flashing police lights come up behind the van. I was hoping this was my escort and not a cop trying to pull me over. I don't even know how fast I was going. The police car came flying up beside the van and pulled in front of me. Seconds later, another police car flanked the side of the van and another behind me. I was relieved to see that it was my escort. We arrived at the hospital a few minutes later. The ER staff was ready and waiting for us at the door. They transferred Tony to a gurney and wheeled him into a room. I could finally breath again. I sat in the drivers seat for almost 20 minutes trying to calm down. The hospital arranged a ride for me to get over to my treatment. I thanked them for organizing a ride for me, but I refused to leave until I knew Tony was stable and his wife was contacted. I sat in he waiting room until Tony's wife Estelle got to the hospital. The staff allowed me to take Estelle back to her husband's room. Tony was sitting upright on the gurney. His color had returned and he was breathing normally. Tony and Estelle shared a comforting hug. He then looked over at me with a wink and a smile. He thanked me for taking such good care of him. I swatted his leg and told him to never scare me like that again! We both laughed and embraced one another. Estelle promised me that she wouldn't let Tony leave the house without having breakfast again.
Seeing that Tony was back to himself, it was time for me to head over to the cancer center for treatment. I checked in with both Tony and Estelle throughout the rest of the day. The doctor decided to keep Tony there overnight for observation. He will be back home and back in the driver's seat again on Wednesday.
My time at treatment was fairly uneventful and mundane. I was actually happy that the afternoon was relaxed and quiet. I needed go to a zen place for a while and recharge after a hectic morning. I was able to veg-out and get lost in reality TV for a few hours. The time went by quickly. I was feeling some unpleasant repercussions of the chemo, so I was more than ready to head home for a nap.
I had one last stop to make before retreating to my couch for the rest of the night. It was time for my monthly pilgrimage to the pharmacy. I frequent the pharmacy multiple times a month, but once a month I have to go in and pick up my big haul. It's that one time each month I have to pick up the "heavy-hitters", if you will. Usually the visit is pretty easy, in-and-out. Not today, my friends, not today. I took all of three steps into the pharmacy when I got tripped by a toddler on a leash. I'm sorry, but if your child is that rambunctious that he/she needs to be strapped to you, it might be time to consider alternative behavior measures. You might even want to think about swapping he/she for a dog. I joke, of course. Anyway, this kid completely laid me out onto the cold tile floor. Head first into the condom aisle, naturally. You think I could catch a little slack, right?!? Maybe take a header into cotton balls, or socks? Possibly land on some nice plush carpet? Nope, I take a face-dive into the Magnums. Are you kidding me? If that wasn't enough, I start to taste blood. A box of "ribbed for her pleasure" condoms cut open my lip! If I wasn't already a hot mess after a morning/afternoon of chemotherapy, now I'm bleeding. Patrons of the store and employees flock over to me. They are all asking me if I'm ok while the crazy hyper kid is pulling his mom around the store. I am totally and completely embarrassed. All I want to do is get my meds and get the hell out of the drugstore. I take a second to get my balance, and walk straight to the pharmacy counter. I can see that the pharmacist is startled by my disheveled appearance. My cheeks are flushed, my nose is running, my eyes are watering causing my mascara to run, I'm bleeding and my hair is undoubtably a crazy mess! I picture myself looking like Cheri Oteri's SNL character Colette Reardon...the crazy pill lady. Trying to lighten the mood tell the pharmacist that I need pick up my prescriptions quickly on account of the fact that some punk kid clotheslined me at the front of the store. Thankfully, the pharmacist was familiar with the skit. We both cracked up laughing. He gathered my medications quickly and I hustled out the door. You better believe I cased the joint on my way through the aisles. I probably looked like I was going to rob the place, but I was only looking out for children cracked out on sugar and summertime freedom.
All I can say is, some days are good and some days are bad. Some are darn right crazy! I'm glad that no matter what there is always some thing to laugh about. It's no fun taking life too seriously. Have you laughed today?
Sunday, June 22, 2014
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: 29 going on 99
The life of a 20-something cancer patient: 29 going on 99: I'm back! I'm sorry for the brief hiatus. The past few months have been a whirlwind of physical and emotional ups and downs. I ha...
29 going on 99
I'm back! I'm sorry for the brief hiatus. The past few months have been a whirlwind of physical and emotional ups and downs. I have received a couple new diagnosis', I changed hospitals, I got a whole new "team" of doctors, and I moved into my first home(the first home for myself and Jeff anyway. Beaver Dam will forever be home to me). As always, with the good comes bad. I've endured a few surgeries/procedures, spent far too much time in hospital rooms, doctor's offices, and emergency rooms. Throw in getting a new series of shots each month and a couple kidney stones to boot. That has been my life the past few months...in a nutshell.
Sorry if I sound like a "Debbie-Downer", or come off as cynical. I have also had many wonderful moments the past few months. As I mentioned above, we moved into a new house. It is a truly lovely home. I am overcome by a magnificent feeling of comfort and stability. Jeff and I have found a place we love, and an area we hope to stay in for many years to come. We have also had many visitors to our "neck of the woods". My fabulous sister and her hubby came to visit. It was their first time to Central New York, so we were able to show them some of our favorite spots. It's always fun being around them. My abs also got a good workout from all of the laughter we shared! My parents were also able to make a visit to CNY, as well as, Jeff's mom! I wish they could all stay here with us, but alas, they had to return to their lives and I return to the hospital grind.
Over the past few months I have noticed how much of an old lady I have become. It's a given that since being diagnosed with cancer I have maintained a much calmer lifestyle. I am not bitter, at all, about leading the life of an elderly woman at age 29. I find it quite humorous. Naturally, at times, I get jealous of my friends and family that lead a more spontaneous life. My days are much more calculated and planned out, but I have grown accustom to this life. Adventure to me is going into a store, or restaurant without seeing the restroom. That means I got out without puking! Woot Woot!
It's entertaining how my priorities have changed. I used to be able to make plans on a moments notice and have no issues. All I needed was my phone, keys, wallet, and sunglasses. I would be set for a few hours, or a few days. Oh, how times have changed! I now need at least 24 hours notice before I can even walk to the mailbox. Ha! That may be a bit of any exaggeration, but some days that's how I feel. Being 29 can easily feel like 92 when dealing with health woes.
Before I go out anywhere, I have to be up and active for at least two hours. That gives my body time to get out as much vomit as possible, so I can hopefully visit one less public bathroom. I also have to eat a small meal in order to absorb the 800 pills I take daily. Once that process is over, I can try to pull myself together. Luckily chemo has taken away many of my clothing options, so picking out an outfit doesn't take too long. Treatment has also limited my hair and make-up decisions. The most time-consuming "getting ready ritual" is loading my purse with all the necessities needed to venture out into the world. My handbags get larger with each passing year due to the room I need for all my crap. I try to pull off the classy look with designer bags. Pairing a Michael Kors handbag with a sweatshirt and workout pants is my signature look. Nobody pulls off that look better than I do! If the inside of my purse reflected the name on the outside I would have to replace Tory Burch and Kate Spade with the word Pharmacy. The bulk of the items found in my bag can be found at the local drugstore. It's not even the fun drugstore stuff like; lip glosses, make-up, gum/mints, or hair ties. I'm packing the essentials like; wet-naps, toilet seat covers, kleenex, pill bottles, and surgical masks. Exciting, huh?!?
I find it funny the places I frequent the most have changed, as well. I remember when I would go out on a shopping excursion, and the top three stores I would go to were places like; American Eagle, Sephora, and DSW. My top three stores nowadays are; Target, Rite Aid, and Walgreens. I am like a kid in a candy store when I see sales for everyday products, and I hoard coupons like they are gold! My eyes light up and my heart starts pumping for a good discounted item. $1.00 off laxative...sign me up! Two for the price of one cotton balls....Yes, Please! Buy three get two free boxes of Kleenex...Hot Damn! You better believe I'm all over that!
Even my behavior when I walk into a store has drastically changed. I used to walk in and smile at the retail therapy that will surely ensue. I would quickly walk over to my favorite sections in the store; the shoe department, the make-up counter, or the handbags. I would scour every rack to find the perfect buy. Boy, has that shifted. The first thing I do when I walk into stores these days is, locate the restrooms incase I need to vomit. I map out the quickest and easiest routes. It's sad, but true. My poor friends and family have to spend hours with me in stores, not because I am looking at every single item in the store, but because I spend half of the time puking. Oy Vey! Going out in public with me is a treat. HA!
Thank you to all the poor souls whom have dared to go out-and-about with me, and put up with all of the shenanigans my health bestows upon our outings. The upside to a day with Meg is that if you get a headache, have an allergy attack, or accidentally put your hand in something sticky, I will be able to provide you with all the pharmaceuticals you may need.
Don't take spontaneity and carefree days for granted. Before you know it you'll be an old lady like me. It's important to remember that there are many perks that come with that title. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sorry if I sound like a "Debbie-Downer", or come off as cynical. I have also had many wonderful moments the past few months. As I mentioned above, we moved into a new house. It is a truly lovely home. I am overcome by a magnificent feeling of comfort and stability. Jeff and I have found a place we love, and an area we hope to stay in for many years to come. We have also had many visitors to our "neck of the woods". My fabulous sister and her hubby came to visit. It was their first time to Central New York, so we were able to show them some of our favorite spots. It's always fun being around them. My abs also got a good workout from all of the laughter we shared! My parents were also able to make a visit to CNY, as well as, Jeff's mom! I wish they could all stay here with us, but alas, they had to return to their lives and I return to the hospital grind.
Over the past few months I have noticed how much of an old lady I have become. It's a given that since being diagnosed with cancer I have maintained a much calmer lifestyle. I am not bitter, at all, about leading the life of an elderly woman at age 29. I find it quite humorous. Naturally, at times, I get jealous of my friends and family that lead a more spontaneous life. My days are much more calculated and planned out, but I have grown accustom to this life. Adventure to me is going into a store, or restaurant without seeing the restroom. That means I got out without puking! Woot Woot!
It's entertaining how my priorities have changed. I used to be able to make plans on a moments notice and have no issues. All I needed was my phone, keys, wallet, and sunglasses. I would be set for a few hours, or a few days. Oh, how times have changed! I now need at least 24 hours notice before I can even walk to the mailbox. Ha! That may be a bit of any exaggeration, but some days that's how I feel. Being 29 can easily feel like 92 when dealing with health woes.
Before I go out anywhere, I have to be up and active for at least two hours. That gives my body time to get out as much vomit as possible, so I can hopefully visit one less public bathroom. I also have to eat a small meal in order to absorb the 800 pills I take daily. Once that process is over, I can try to pull myself together. Luckily chemo has taken away many of my clothing options, so picking out an outfit doesn't take too long. Treatment has also limited my hair and make-up decisions. The most time-consuming "getting ready ritual" is loading my purse with all the necessities needed to venture out into the world. My handbags get larger with each passing year due to the room I need for all my crap. I try to pull off the classy look with designer bags. Pairing a Michael Kors handbag with a sweatshirt and workout pants is my signature look. Nobody pulls off that look better than I do! If the inside of my purse reflected the name on the outside I would have to replace Tory Burch and Kate Spade with the word Pharmacy. The bulk of the items found in my bag can be found at the local drugstore. It's not even the fun drugstore stuff like; lip glosses, make-up, gum/mints, or hair ties. I'm packing the essentials like; wet-naps, toilet seat covers, kleenex, pill bottles, and surgical masks. Exciting, huh?!?
I find it funny the places I frequent the most have changed, as well. I remember when I would go out on a shopping excursion, and the top three stores I would go to were places like; American Eagle, Sephora, and DSW. My top three stores nowadays are; Target, Rite Aid, and Walgreens. I am like a kid in a candy store when I see sales for everyday products, and I hoard coupons like they are gold! My eyes light up and my heart starts pumping for a good discounted item. $1.00 off laxative...sign me up! Two for the price of one cotton balls....Yes, Please! Buy three get two free boxes of Kleenex...Hot Damn! You better believe I'm all over that!
Even my behavior when I walk into a store has drastically changed. I used to walk in and smile at the retail therapy that will surely ensue. I would quickly walk over to my favorite sections in the store; the shoe department, the make-up counter, or the handbags. I would scour every rack to find the perfect buy. Boy, has that shifted. The first thing I do when I walk into stores these days is, locate the restrooms incase I need to vomit. I map out the quickest and easiest routes. It's sad, but true. My poor friends and family have to spend hours with me in stores, not because I am looking at every single item in the store, but because I spend half of the time puking. Oy Vey! Going out in public with me is a treat. HA!
Thank you to all the poor souls whom have dared to go out-and-about with me, and put up with all of the shenanigans my health bestows upon our outings. The upside to a day with Meg is that if you get a headache, have an allergy attack, or accidentally put your hand in something sticky, I will be able to provide you with all the pharmaceuticals you may need.
Don't take spontaneity and carefree days for granted. Before you know it you'll be an old lady like me. It's important to remember that there are many perks that come with that title. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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