Oh my, what a day! Starting bright and early this morning, the day launched into a frazzled panic. Everyone(human and canine) in the Kleinman household was a hot mess, and less than prepared to begin the grueling day ahead. I can only speak for myself regarding the rest of the day, since my husband is still at work. Although, I'm quite certain that working a 14-15 hour day is wearing on his mind and body. The dogs seem to be well-rested, however. I almost positive their day consisted of barking out the windows, and taking extended naps. Must be nice...
My day was composed of random events all juggled around various treatments. On the way to the hospital, my medi-van driver had an allergic reaction to the power bar he was cramming down his throat. The reaction set in as he was driving down the highway. He was franticly gasping for air and holding his throat. The vehicle was screaming down the road at high speed, and without a driver. I was having a full-on anxiety attack in the backseat. Luckily, I was able to calm my nerves a bit and take command of the abandoned van. I pushed the driver over to the passenger seat and safely drove vehicle out of traffic and to a stop. I had no time to catch my breath. I needed to call 911. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. I quickly explained the situation. The operator told me that it would likely be faster for me to drive the man to the hospital and a police escort would catch up with me. I about peed my pants! I rarely, I'm talking VERY rarely drive. Since being diagnosed with cancer it's safer for me stay out of the drivers seat. My treatments and medications have many side effects that can compromise my ability to operate a motor vehicle. Honestly, in the past year I have driven twice. Needless to say, I was terrified about driving this man to the hospital. I had no time to waste. I could not worry about my fears and phobias in this moment. This man needed help. I shifted the car into drive and took off on the path to the emergency room. It felt like the drive was taking hours. My heart was pounding out of my chest and a hot flash took over my body. I had to calm down and stay focused. Fainting would only cause more problems for us both. Within five minutes, I heard the sirens and saw the flashing police lights come up behind the van. I was hoping this was my escort and not a cop trying to pull me over. I don't even know how fast I was going. The police car came flying up beside the van and pulled in front of me. Seconds later, another police car flanked the side of the van and another behind me. I was relieved to see that it was my escort. We arrived at the hospital a few minutes later. The ER staff was ready and waiting for us at the door. They transferred Tony to a gurney and wheeled him into a room. I could finally breath again. I sat in the drivers seat for almost 20 minutes trying to calm down. The hospital arranged a ride for me to get over to my treatment. I thanked them for organizing a ride for me, but I refused to leave until I knew Tony was stable and his wife was contacted. I sat in he waiting room until Tony's wife Estelle got to the hospital. The staff allowed me to take Estelle back to her husband's room. Tony was sitting upright on the gurney. His color had returned and he was breathing normally. Tony and Estelle shared a comforting hug. He then looked over at me with a wink and a smile. He thanked me for taking such good care of him. I swatted his leg and told him to never scare me like that again! We both laughed and embraced one another. Estelle promised me that she wouldn't let Tony leave the house without having breakfast again.
Seeing that Tony was back to himself, it was time for me to head over to the cancer center for treatment. I checked in with both Tony and Estelle throughout the rest of the day. The doctor decided to keep Tony there overnight for observation. He will be back home and back in the driver's seat again on Wednesday.
My time at treatment was fairly uneventful and mundane. I was actually happy that the afternoon was relaxed and quiet. I needed go to a zen place for a while and recharge after a hectic morning. I was able to veg-out and get lost in reality TV for a few hours. The time went by quickly. I was feeling some unpleasant repercussions of the chemo, so I was more than ready to head home for a nap.
I had one last stop to make before retreating to my couch for the rest of the night. It was time for my monthly pilgrimage to the pharmacy. I frequent the pharmacy multiple times a month, but once a month I have to go in and pick up my big haul. It's that one time each month I have to pick up the "heavy-hitters", if you will. Usually the visit is pretty easy, in-and-out. Not today, my friends, not today. I took all of three steps into the pharmacy when I got tripped by a toddler on a leash. I'm sorry, but if your child is that rambunctious that he/she needs to be strapped to you, it might be time to consider alternative behavior measures. You might even want to think about swapping he/she for a dog. I joke, of course. Anyway, this kid completely laid me out onto the cold tile floor. Head first into the condom aisle, naturally. You think I could catch a little slack, right?!? Maybe take a header into cotton balls, or socks? Possibly land on some nice plush carpet? Nope, I take a face-dive into the Magnums. Are you kidding me? If that wasn't enough, I start to taste blood. A box of "ribbed for her pleasure" condoms cut open my lip! If I wasn't already a hot mess after a morning/afternoon of chemotherapy, now I'm bleeding. Patrons of the store and employees flock over to me. They are all asking me if I'm ok while the crazy hyper kid is pulling his mom around the store. I am totally and completely embarrassed. All I want to do is get my meds and get the hell out of the drugstore. I take a second to get my balance, and walk straight to the pharmacy counter. I can see that the pharmacist is startled by my disheveled appearance. My cheeks are flushed, my nose is running, my eyes are watering causing my mascara to run, I'm bleeding and my hair is undoubtably a crazy mess! I picture myself looking like Cheri Oteri's SNL character Colette Reardon...the crazy pill lady. Trying to lighten the mood tell the pharmacist that I need pick up my prescriptions quickly on account of the fact that some punk kid clotheslined me at the front of the store. Thankfully, the pharmacist was familiar with the skit. We both cracked up laughing. He gathered my medications quickly and I hustled out the door. You better believe I cased the joint on my way through the aisles. I probably looked like I was going to rob the place, but I was only looking out for children cracked out on sugar and summertime freedom.
All I can say is, some days are good and some days are bad. Some are darn right crazy! I'm glad that no matter what there is always some thing to laugh about. It's no fun taking life too seriously. Have you laughed today?
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