I'm back! I'm sorry for the brief hiatus. The past few months have been a whirlwind of physical and emotional ups and downs. I have received a couple new diagnosis', I changed hospitals, I got a whole new "team" of doctors, and I moved into my first home(the first home for myself and Jeff anyway. Beaver Dam will forever be home to me). As always, with the good comes bad. I've endured a few surgeries/procedures, spent far too much time in hospital rooms, doctor's offices, and emergency rooms. Throw in getting a new series of shots each month and a couple kidney stones to boot. That has been my life the past few months...in a nutshell.
Sorry if I sound like a "Debbie-Downer", or come off as cynical. I have also had many wonderful moments the past few months. As I mentioned above, we moved into a new house. It is a truly lovely home. I am overcome by a magnificent feeling of comfort and stability. Jeff and I have found a place we love, and an area we hope to stay in for many years to come. We have also had many visitors to our "neck of the woods". My fabulous sister and her hubby came to visit. It was their first time to Central New York, so we were able to show them some of our favorite spots. It's always fun being around them. My abs also got a good workout from all of the laughter we shared! My parents were also able to make a visit to CNY, as well as, Jeff's mom! I wish they could all stay here with us, but alas, they had to return to their lives and I return to the hospital grind.
Over the past few months I have noticed how much of an old lady I have become. It's a given that since being diagnosed with cancer I have maintained a much calmer lifestyle. I am not bitter, at all, about leading the life of an elderly woman at age 29. I find it quite humorous. Naturally, at times, I get jealous of my friends and family that lead a more spontaneous life. My days are much more calculated and planned out, but I have grown accustom to this life. Adventure to me is going into a store, or restaurant without seeing the restroom. That means I got out without puking! Woot Woot!
It's entertaining how my priorities have changed. I used to be able to make plans on a moments notice and have no issues. All I needed was my phone, keys, wallet, and sunglasses. I would be set for a few hours, or a few days. Oh, how times have changed! I now need at least 24 hours notice before I can even walk to the mailbox. Ha! That may be a bit of any exaggeration, but some days that's how I feel. Being 29 can easily feel like 92 when dealing with health woes.
Before I go out anywhere, I have to be up and active for at least two hours. That gives my body time to get out as much vomit as possible, so I can hopefully visit one less public bathroom. I also have to eat a small meal in order to absorb the 800 pills I take daily. Once that process is over, I can try to pull myself together. Luckily chemo has taken away many of my clothing options, so picking out an outfit doesn't take too long. Treatment has also limited my hair and make-up decisions. The most time-consuming "getting ready ritual" is loading my purse with all the necessities needed to venture out into the world. My handbags get larger with each passing year due to the room I need for all my crap. I try to pull off the classy look with designer bags. Pairing a Michael Kors handbag with a sweatshirt and workout pants is my signature look. Nobody pulls off that look better than I do! If the inside of my purse reflected the name on the outside I would have to replace Tory Burch and Kate Spade with the word Pharmacy. The bulk of the items found in my bag can be found at the local drugstore. It's not even the fun drugstore stuff like; lip glosses, make-up, gum/mints, or hair ties. I'm packing the essentials like; wet-naps, toilet seat covers, kleenex, pill bottles, and surgical masks. Exciting, huh?!?
I find it funny the places I frequent the most have changed, as well. I remember when I would go out on a shopping excursion, and the top three stores I would go to were places like; American Eagle, Sephora, and DSW. My top three stores nowadays are; Target, Rite Aid, and Walgreens. I am like a kid in a candy store when I see sales for everyday products, and I hoard coupons like they are gold! My eyes light up and my heart starts pumping for a good discounted item. $1.00 off laxative...sign me up! Two for the price of one cotton balls....Yes, Please! Buy three get two free boxes of Kleenex...Hot Damn! You better believe I'm all over that!
Even my behavior when I walk into a store has drastically changed. I used to walk in and smile at the retail therapy that will surely ensue. I would quickly walk over to my favorite sections in the store; the shoe department, the make-up counter, or the handbags. I would scour every rack to find the perfect buy. Boy, has that shifted. The first thing I do when I walk into stores these days is, locate the restrooms incase I need to vomit. I map out the quickest and easiest routes. It's sad, but true. My poor friends and family have to spend hours with me in stores, not because I am looking at every single item in the store, but because I spend half of the time puking. Oy Vey! Going out in public with me is a treat. HA!
Thank you to all the poor souls whom have dared to go out-and-about with me, and put up with all of the shenanigans my health bestows upon our outings. The upside to a day with Meg is that if you get a headache, have an allergy attack, or accidentally put your hand in something sticky, I will be able to provide you with all the pharmaceuticals you may need.
Don't take spontaneity and carefree days for granted. Before you know it you'll be an old lady like me. It's important to remember that there are many perks that come with that title. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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