I recently met a new patient at the Cancer center. He is very shy, anxious and extremely introverted. All of the doctors and nurses have had trouble getting to know him, and finding a way to connect with him. He has not made any friends with the other children, and gets frightened by the doctors and nurses. He clings on to his parents and spends hours working through puzzle books. He goes through them page after page without missing a beat. One day he ran out of ink in his pen. He was incredibly distraught. His parents were at work, and he refused to use a pen from the nurses station because he struggles with germ-a-phobia. I could see the nervousness and unsettling feelings he was experiencing. I have been in that situation more times than I have EVER wanted to be, or admit. I knew he needed find his "safety net". He needed a sense of familiarity. Many times that is the most soothing form of treatment. I know when I am on the verge of a panic attack I take out my phone as look at pictures of my boys(my fur-babies). The adorable photos and memories that come with the pictures help me relax. I knew that I needed to bring this boy the sense of familiarity and comfort back to him.
That day after my treatments I asked my medi-van driver if he could take me to the nearest art/book store. I was on a mission to bring a smile to this young boy's face. He has just begun undergoing difficult treatments, he's scared and confused by the entire process. I couldn't let him sit there with tears running down his checks and succumbing to the terrible pains of cancer. I had my driver take me to the store. I scoured every aisle looking for similar puzzle boos, and adding a few new ones to the mix for him to try. I also brought him a brand new pack of multicolored pens. They were completely sanitary and he had an array of color choices.
When I returned back to the children's hospital I found him in the same seat he was sitting in before I left for store. He was now sitting motionless with his had down on the table. I knew he was waiting for his parents to come visit him after work. I was uncertain if I should wait for their arrival, but I couldn't watch this sad and lonely boy any longer. I gently approached him and introduced myself. I explained to him that I too was going through cancer treatments and I know how challenging they can be. I then told him that I wanted to be there for him whenever he needed a friend. At that point he lifted his head from the table and looked straight into my eyes. He then said something unexpected and wise beyond his years. He told me that the light in my eyes showed strength, integrity and determination. He also told me that the "water"(tears) in my eyes showed compassion and undeniable love. I was floored by the way he expressed himself and the remarkable insight this young boy possessed. He then asked what I saw in his eyes. I took a moment to analyze his stunningly gorgeous eyes. I asked him if I could hold his hand. He was reluctant at first, but I had gained some trust, so he gently placed his hand in mine. I embraced his hand and gazed into his sparkling eyes. I told him I saw innocence, bravery, fear, and hope in his eyes.
We both began to tear up. We had made an honest an irreversible bond in such a short time frame. I have always been told that I have an old soul. I was never sure exactly what that meant until I met Silas. He opened up my eyes to a new stage of cancer and life in general. He brought back the hope and will to continue fighting my cancer battle, not only for myself, but for everyone battling a life threatening illness and for all their loved ones. We must live for the day, and do what makes us happy and escape the fact that we have cancer (at least for a while). I'll be the first one to say that I have hit many rock bottoms during my cancer struggle, but I somehow find a way to crawl out and start anew.
After having the heart-to-heart with Silas, I brought out his surprise. I gave him tools to use to express himself through art. I brought him a bunch of new puzzle books, and a brand new packs of uncontaminated pens, colored pencils and crayons. He was elated! A simple gesture brightened his day. I now restock his activity books every few weeks. Seeing the smile on his face continues to melt my heart. Every moment with him is unforgettable and an exceptionally rewarding gift.
Silas is very introverted and has difficultly talking to anyone but his immediate family. Recently, he has let me in a little bit at a time. He has short conversations with me and never hesitates to asks me to help him when he gets stuck on a problem in his puzzle books. He even has given me a couple hugs along our friendship journey. Giving me hugs was a huge accomplished for him. I am beyond lucky to have been able break through his tough facade and get to know him on a more personal level.
Getting through to him has changed my life and warmed my heart. It all starts with random acts of kindness. We all have the capacity within us to brighten someone's day. Share the love!
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