Rita

Sundays are typically a slow day at the hospital.  Just like any healthy person, sick patients enjoy taking the weekends off to spend with family and friends.  I spend most weekends at the hospital because my husband works in the golf industry.  Weekends are a particularly busy time at the golf club, as one would expect.  I've been very fortunate to be able to work my treatment schedule around my husband's work schedule.  I have also had the pleasure of forming strong bonds with the few patients that stick around on the weekends, and furthermore, with the weekend hospital staff.  Fewer patients allow for less haste and stress at the cancer center.  The relaxed atmosphere allows more time for conversations, and getting to know one another.  There is one particular woman I always make sure to catch up with on the weekends.  Unlike most of the patients she has treatments only on the weekends.  She maintains a full-time job Monday through Friday, so she focuses solely on her healthcare two days a week.  When the weekend rolls around, I always look forward to catching up with her.

Today played out the same as usual.  I headed to the hospital early for treatment, and to catch up with Rita.  She was the first person I spotted after checking in, so naturally we jumped right into conversation.  Rita is a single, hard-working lady.  She's very assertive and forward, but not in a bulldozing kind of way.  She speaks with a soft tone, and a strong southern accent.  Her charm can be deceiving.  She has the ability to make grown men cry, and leave hospital staff standing in a pool of urine.  I've seen it happen...yikes!  Needless to say, don't get on Rita's bad side.  For the most part, she has a heart of gold, and cares deeply about the people in her life.  She will stop at nothing to make her loved ones happy.  I know this because of the wonderful stories she has told me about her past 60 years.  Rita loves to talk, and her favorite topic is herself.  I don't mind listening to her go on-and-on about her adventures.  She has had an exciting, and eventful life.  We usually skim the surface of what's happening in my life before spending hours chatting about hers.  The situation works for us.  We both walk away from our get togethers with a smile on our face.  Today, however, Rita threw me for a loop.

We connected as soon as I arrived at the hospital.  We exchanged pleasantries, as usual, before jumping into deep conversation.  Rita immediately told me that she received a phone call the night before that changed her life.  I was intrigued, to say the least.  I had a pretty good idea who the call was from, but Rita didn't come outright with the callers name.  Instead, she asked me an intimate question.  I was surprised.  Rita rarely asks me about the details of my life.  She questioned me about the relationships with my family, and friends.  I explained to her that I have always surrounded myself with lots of friends, and that I also have a large extended family.  I went on to explain that most of my relationships were superficial, until I received my cancer diagnosis.  I realized that life isn't something to take for granted, and that life is meant to be shared with the ones you love.  Cancer helped me weed out unhealthy relationships, and embrace positive relationships.  Cancer has also taught me to appreciate the life I've been given.  It has shown me how to make each day count, and how to forgive all the wrongs I have committed, as well as, the wrongs that have been committed against me.  Cancer has helped me decipher between the life I thought I should be living, and the life want to live.  Cancer has given me the chance to explore my passions, and discover who I truly am.  Most importantly, cancer has shown me what unconditional love looks like.  Above all, cancer has transformed my family into my closest friends, and my closest friends into family.  These bonds are stronger than ever.  I no longer view my parents, and sister as just my family.  They are my best friends.  The same goes for my extended family.  The relationships with my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc are no longer out of obligation.  We choose to maintain friendships with each other.  The outpouring of love I feel from family members near, and far is incredible.  The support we share is mutual and never-ending.  The same goes for the friends in my life.  They are no longer just friends, they are a part of my family.  Whether we have been friends since birth, or we have recently made a connection, these bonds are indestructible.  The true friends I have made throughout my life have remained faithful.  For that, I am abundantly grateful.

As I rambled on in response to her question, I saw tears well up in Rita's eyes.  By the end of our chat Rita had tear streaming down her face.  I was concerned, and a little uneasy, to be completely honest.  I had never seen Rita cry.  She reached out her ams, and hugged with such warmth, and compassion.  As we stood there, embracing one another, she whispered in my ear that the call was from Peter.  The moment Peter's name passed through her lips, the tears rolled down my cheek.  Peter is Rita's estranged son.  She had him at a very young age.  She raised him the best way she knew how, but when she married her now ex-husband, Peter stopped talking to his mother.  He was an adult, living on his own, but he didn't approve of the marriage.  He dropped all contact with his mother.  She tried desperately to reunite with him over the years, but could never break down the wall Peter put up.  He was completely unaware of his mother's condition, and I could tell Rita's heart was breaking.  She put on a tough facade, but her eyes showed the truth.  The pain she was feeling regarding the loss of her son was more than any pain related to her health.  I knew I had to do something.

I took a risk by talking to the nursing staff about Rita's situation.  I only spoke to the nurses pertinent to acquiring the information I needed.  Sidebar: I don't condone my mischievous behavior, and I take full responsibility for the leaked information.  Anyway, once I procured Rita's next of kin paperwork, I took it upon myself to contact her son.  I knew it was a long-shot, but I had to try.  I called him, and left a message regarding his mother's current state of health.  I also let him know of the affinity I have for Rita.  I expressed to him the concern I have for her physical and mental state.  Lastly, I shared with him how much Rita misses him.  I explained that not a day goes by that she doesn't think of him, and she tells me stories about how amazing her son is every weekend.  I begged him to contact her one way, or another.  I left him my phone number, as well as, his mother's.  A week later I got a message from him thanking me for the message, and for contacting him.  He told me he would call his mom soon, but he wasn't quite ready.  He needed to prepare for the conversation.  I text him back quite simply, "Thank You".  I knew it wouldn't be long before he made that call.  As soon as Rita told me she got a life-changing call, I knew it was from Peter.

I believe that happiness comes in many forms, but true happiness lies within the company we keep.