Life isn't easy

We all have tough times in our lives.  Some have more than others, but it's inevitable that we will all go through difficult situations.  These struggles can be minor and easy to work through, or they can be more severe and take a lot longer to improve.  Life always challenges us.  They way we choose to confront these challenges is what determines the outcome.

I'll be honest.  I used to think that attitude, spirituality and prayer would do nothing to help make a bad situation good.  I always thought life was more about actions, and that everything had to be concise.  I believed that only things I could prove, or that had evidence behind it would improve a difficult time of life.  It all made sense in my head.  It was easy to make a timeline, a chart, or write out an agenda.  For example, if someone is struggling financially(which most of us have or will at some point in our lives).  The way to save money and get back living comfortably is to make a budget.  The answer to the problem is right there on paper.  It's that easy right?  More often than not it isn't that easy to get out of rough patch.  I wanted to believe that I could somehow put the answers to all my health issues on paper.  I wanted to be able to follow the timeline, and know exactly how and when I would beat this cancer.  I kept that thought process for a long time.  I was so stubborn(I blame my parents for giving me my stubborn side...haha).  I refused to try other avenues to better my situation.  I figured if I couldn't see the plan, or see that changes happening immediately, then it wouldn't work.  To me it was pointless to try anything other than what the doctors were telling me to do.  I took my medications and went to treatments.  I didn't feel that anything else would help.

I was told all the time that people were praying for me, or they would tell me God was looking out for me.  Don't get me wrong, I was greatly appreciative of their prayers.  I was very touched to hear that so many people around me were thinking of me, and they were taking time out of their days to say a prayer for me.  I just didn't believe that prayers and positive thinking was going to heal me.  I went along thinking that the only way I would get through this was to follow doctors orders.  It is important to stick to the treatment plan that doctors and patients agree upon, but that isn't the only way to heal.  I learned that the day I met Sarah.

My life was filled with many positive, uplifting people.  My parents, sister, brother-in-law, husband, my in-laws, my extended family and my amazing friends have always had my back.  They have all been so supportive, and have tried to keep me as positive as possible.  I was still feeling that having a cheery disposition wasn't going to help me get through my treatments, or kill this cancer.  It was wonderful to see that everyone around me was so upbeat, but I remained depressed.




Since that day in the courtyard, I no longer stay in my room between treatments.  I am out talking to other patients and nurses.  The children who were all planting flowers live at the hospital because their cancers are so evasive.  They have a large room where they all stay.  I make it a point to visit them every chance I get.  They changed my view of life as a cancer patient.  They taught me that it is important to remain positive, and to continue having fun.  Life doesn't stop when you get diagnosed with cancer unless you let it.  My faith, spirituality, hope and happiness were restored that day in the courtyard.  I have chosen to pass along the lessons I learned from the kids.  I have not succeeded if I don't put a smile on the face of everyone I see during the day.