Resilience

It never ceases to amaze me how resilient children can be. They are not only resilient, but they can change the outlook of even the darkest days. It's no secret that I had the option to bear children taken away from me. I'll admit that before I had my "lady parts" destroyed by cancer, I was uncertain about motherhood. I worried that I wouldn't have the patience to be a good mom. I was unsure if children were a part of my future, but becoming a mother the "natural" way has been taken away from me. In the past when I thought about my fate as a mother, I maintained an angry attitude. I was upset that I would never know what it felt like to be a mom. I didn't see any possible way I could become a mother. I am infertile, and the all other options are far too expensive. I had to get used to the fact that it wasn't in the cards for me. That all changed when I started volunteering at Children's Hospitals. I am in no way related to the children I visit, but they accept me as part of their family. We share a bond(cancer) that is so intimate, and that connects us on another level. We are not related by blood, but by the experiences we go through on a daily basis. In some ways that relationship is stronger than blood relation. The children feel like they can come to me with questions, or fear that they don't think their parents will understand. They seek my advice, guidance, and love just like anyone would a family member. I have been so fortunate to have had such strong bonds with so many wonderful children. I may never be a mother in the traditional sense, but I know what it feels like to have someone count on you to help them through difficult times. I have had the opportunity to guide these children through the pain and sadness cancer brings them daily. I also have had the opportunity to see them fight their illnesses and come back from their challenges as stronger individuals. For every tear a child sheds when they feel hurt, there is a sparkle in their eye when they feel joy. The resilience of children is astounding. I am forever grateful for the lessons I have learned from the kids at Children's Hospitals. If they can bounce back from the everyday struggles, I can too.