One Could do Worse Than Be a Swinger of Birches

I received an interesting phone call the other day. The woman on the other end of the call was a parent of little boy I often see at the Children's Hospital. The fact that she called me wasn't strange. I often give out my phone number to patients and family members at the hospital. I know how difficult life can be when dealing with such serious illnesses. If there is anything I can do, or say to ease their minds, I will gladly do it. There usually isn't anything a hug and some friendly advice can't cure. The question she asked, however, caught me off guard. She asked me if I knew my life was going to play out the way it has, if I would have ended it sooner. She proceeded to tell me that her son's illness has advance, and she wants to relieve his pain. She wants to stop all of the new treatments before they even start. I told her that I understand how difficult it is to see her son go through so much. I see the pain and confusion in the eyes of her son and the other children each time I visit them. There have been many times that I have left the hospital with a smile only to breakdown the minute I step foot outside. It amazes me the strength and will that such young kids have. The most common problem I see is that the parents and doctors of these children don't ask them how they are feeling emotionally. They never have the chance to express what is going on inside of them. I asked the mother who called me with this specific question if she asked her son how he feels about his health issues. She said that she doesn't talk to him about his illness because he's too young to understand. She only wants to talk about happy things when she is with him. She doesn't want to upset her son more when they are together. I expressed to her that from my experiences at different Children's Hospitals, the kids are aware of what's going on more than their parents and doctors think. I told her to have a conversation with him, the best she can, about his cancer and his new diagnosis. She called me today in tears. Luckily the tears were of joy. She wanted to thank me for the advice. She talked to her son and found out that he had a lot to say about what is going on with his health. He understood that he was facing a new round of treatments, and that he would be spending longer in the hospital than originally expected. He told her that he was going to win the fight. It only took one conversation to completely change her way of thinking, and ease her fears. I have been extremely fortunate to have the unconditional support of my family and friends over the past four years. They have respected the fact that how I choose to deal with my healthcare is my decision only. They, of course, give me their advice and input, but ultimately the decision is mine alone. I have chosen to fight for years, but if and when I chose to stop I know my decision will be respected. I truly believe that maintaing open communication is the only way to get through the difficulties life throws at us. Talking about the struggles we encounter provide us with the clarity we need to make positive and informed decisions. Writing this post brings to mind one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost. It's called Birches. This portion really speaks to me. "I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree, And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more, But dipped its top and set me down again. That would be good both going and coming back. One could do worse than be a swinger of birches."