Life teaches us lessons

I had a conversation with a young girl at the hospital today.  She is 14 years old, and has been recently diagnosed with cancer.  She has been very closed off since learning about her illness.  It's evident that she is experiencing depression and anxiety.  I have never gotten asked by a patient's doctor for a favor before.  I was taken off guard.  He approached me after her parents expressed concern about their daughter's mental health.  It's a requirement for cancer patients to be assigned a oncology psychologist, but it is not a requirement for patients to actively participate in therapy.  After learning about the severity of his patient's mental state, he suggested I talk to her.  The doctor heard about me from some of the nurses at the hospital.  He thought it might be easier for her to relate to me, than the psychologist. 

I am a chatty-Kathy by nature, so I was happy to help.  In general, it is easier to open up to a friend, than to a healthcare professional.  I first approached her two weeks ago.  We have slowly become friends.  I saw today that she is breaking through her shell.

When I got to the hospital this morning, I was greeted immediately by a few nurses.  I felt like I was being ambushed.  I was a little worried until they told me why they were waiting for me.  The young girl had been asking about me all weekend.  It was the first time she initiated social interaction.  They were excited to see her walls coming down.  They told her I wouldn't be back until Monday.  Multiple nurses tried talking to her, but she said she would wait to talk to me.  The nurses were eager to tell me as soon as I arrived at the hospital, so I could chat with her.  They didn't want her to revert back to an introverted state.  I was anxious to have a conversation with her too.  I was hopeful that she was letting me in.

I had to get prepared for my treatment session first, but as soon as I could I went to find the young girl.  I saw her sitting in a common treatment area.  I quickly walked towards her.  Her face lit up when I saw her, and brought a smile to mine.  I sat down beside her.  I apologized for not being there over the weekend.  I explained that my husband and I had plans we made months earlier.  She told me she was glad to see me, and that she had some good news.  She was bursting with excitement as she delivered her happy news.  Her parents bought her a puppy!

In the past couple of weeks since I met her we mostly discussed how her illness was ruining her life.  She said that she would never get to fulfill her hopes and dreams.  She was positive her diagnosis was a death sentence.  I was completely honest with her.  I told her that I can't predict the future.  No one can tell her exactly how her illness will affect her life.  I told her the one thing I know for certain is that she doesn't have to give up on her dreams.  Her hopes and dreams might just have to be altered, but not forgotten.

I asked what dreams she feared that she would have to give up on.  She said that she has always wanted to go to college, and travel the world.  She wants to be a veterinarian.  She loves animals, but her dad is allergic to pet dander.  She used to work at humane society on weekends, so she could be around the animals.  She can no longer go because of her health.  She would tear up every time we talked about it.  I informed her that her cancer will never change what she is passionate about.  She can still achieve her goals, and her dreams can become reality.  

I further explained my situation, and how I have been fighting my cancer for four years and counting.  I have been able to realize some of my hopes and dreams during that time.  I found the man of my dreams, and had the most amazing wedding all while fighting cancer.  I could see the surprise in her eyes when I told her that.  I went on to tell her that her dreams could come true as well.  She can continue school with tutors, or home schooling.  As for traveling, she could travel the world through books.  When she gets better she can see all of the places from the books in real life.  I reassured her that life has endless possibilities.  I brought her several books from all over world, so she could start planning her world tour.  I set her up with a wonderful tutor, and I help her with her homework whenever I can.  I also told her that I recently got the puppy I wanted my entire life.  I shared with her that making your dreams come true may not always be practical, but worth the risk.  Her parents weren't exactly happy that I told her about getting Buck.  Hearing that from me, and seeing pictures of my puppies, only made her desire for a dog stronger.  They said getting her a puppy wasn't an option because of her father's allergies.  That was until I explained to them that there a hypoallergenic breeds.  I printed off a list for them to have, just in case.  This weekend they surprised their daughter with a puppy of her very own!

I believe that having a positive mindset does change the outcome of life's decisions, whether they are big or small.  No matter what obstacles life throws at us, we have to keep forging ahead.  Life doesn't stop when when times get tough, unless we let it.