Love outlives us all

If you love something, love it completely, cherish it,
Say it, but most importantly, show it. Life is finite
And fragile, and just because something is there one
Day, it might not be the next. Never take that for
Granted.

Say what you need to say, then say a little more.
Say too much. Show too much. Love too much.

Everything is temporary, but love.
Love outlives us all.

Never forget the little things in life

It's the small moments 

And memories

In life that

Make up the 

Big picture of our lives

I apologize for my extended absence from my blog.  I have had some unexpected setbacks regarding my healthcare and personal plans.  Both of which have put me in a bit of a "funk".  I've been a mess both physically and emotionally.  I had a trip planed to go back home to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving to see family and friends. I was going to spend an entire week back in my hometown!  My doctors gave me clearance and I was as gitty as a child on Christmas morning.  I was elated to be traveling back home for a traditional Thankgiving with my family and catching up with some friends!  Naturally, nothing went as planned.  I never made it home.  My health took a massive downward spiral right before we were supposed to leave.  Talk about an emotional breakdown.  I was looking forward to that trip for so long and the "rug got ripped right out from under me".  My heart broke into a million pieces.  I cried every day I was supposed to be there.  I have no clue when I will be able to get back to WI.  Knowing that is devastating as well.

Cancer has not only taken away the monumentous and extremely eventful moments in my life.  It is absolutely depressing not being able to partake in those events, but most of all I miss the "little things" in life that make life unique and personal.

I miss:

"girls nights out",

going to the mall with my gal pals

going out to dinner with family and/or friends and not throwing it all up, 

sleeping through the night, 

dancing in the rain, 

going to the movies, 

dressing up and feeling pretty(even slightly pretty)

slow dancing,

being able to RSVP definite "yes" to events,

not having to struggle to swallow food & drink,

and having the spunk back in my personality.

Sorry this post was a bit somber and melancholy.  I am slowly coming out of my state of gloom and doom.  I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  We all have so very much to be thankful for.  I know I am unbelievably fortunate to have the most incredible people in my life.  I couldn't ask for more.  We all must remember to give thanks for all of the blessings in our live more than just once a year. 

Time

You came into my life
At a bad time
When I truly hated who I was
And what I had become
I was broken, damaged, and fading.

But you fought your way in
And you saved me

You loved me
And by doing so
You gave me the strength
To love me too

Now there's laughter in all of our days
For we have grown stronger
We have learned to push our grief away
Of every single day
For we know that tomorrow may never come
And that our goodnight may well be our last goodbye...

Our time on Earth is precious.  That is the most important life lesson I have learned. I'm so fortunate to have been given this knowledge at at young age.  We all need to take time to pamper ourselves, spend more time with family and the ones we love most.  Each and every one of us will regret it if we don't. Yes, we all need jobs to pay the bills, but we don't need jobs that ruin relationships with our significant others, our children, our friends, and so on. Balance is always a challenge to find in life, but it is absolutely worth fighting for.  Make sure your number one priority/priorities know how important they are before time takes the away.  We only get one shot at life.  Take your time, and make sure to hit that bullseye!

Live like you were dying

How does one live like they are dying when it hurts too much to do the simplest of tasks?  Walking is a challeng because of the 30-40 pounds of tumors in each of my legs, certain noises cause excruciating pain because of the excessive ringing and swooshing sounds in my ears.  Worst of all I can't enjoy the food I would like to eat.  It either makes me physically sick, or I struggle to swallow it and the pain takes over the enjoyment of a nice meal.  We must not forget all of the financial stresses and struggles life weighs us all down with.  Everything and anything comes with a price tag that seems to be going up with each passing year!  Sheesh, I sound like a world-class crybaby.  I'm sorry for complaining about my personal problems.  All of us face struggles on a daily basis.  That brings me to a question I have been pondering quite a bit lately.  Why is life so difficult for some people and a breeze for others?  I know that many people put on a facade for the world to see and it's a much different story behind the scenes.  That leads me to another question.  Why are so many of us afraid to be our "true selves".  We hide behind masks, stories, theories, reputations, family histories, etc.  We are all individuals. We should act that way.  I know it's much easier said than done.  I'm terrified of what people think of me.  If someone looks at me strangely I will feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day, or at least until I get home and take an upper...ha!

I truly envy those who love whom they are.  Those whom embrace their quirks and "march to the beat of their own drum".  Continue being unique, eccentric, eclectic, and real.  Forge forward with your message and your unwavering acceptance.  Hopefully one day the rest of the world will follow.

When Life Gets in the Way

I am sorry I have been absent lately.  Life has been throwing me many curveballs, twists, and an abundance of turns.  I'm no longer sure which way is up, or which is down.  I must admit I am terrified, incredibly anxious, hurting, both physically and mentally.  I have many decisions to make in the near future.  I could have never imagined I would be in this position at this time in my life.  I am living in a fog right now, but I am searching for clarity.  Once I find it I will return to a more often writing schedule.  I miss blogging, but I would never publish material unworthy of reading.  You all deserve better than that.  I only want to share with each of you my best.  Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement!

I would like to share some words and phrases that have inspired me.

When you have a really bad day,
Try to treat the world better than it had treated you.

Always hold on to hope.
When you feel your hope is lost find a shoulder to lean on.
You'd be surprised where you can find the love you need.

Teardrops

If I showed you my teardrops,

Would you collect them like rain,

Store them in jars,

That are labeled with "Pain",

Would you follow their tracks,

From my eyes down my cheeks,

As they write all the stories, 

I'm too scared to speak,

Would you stop them with kisses,

Bring their flow to a halt,

As you teach me that pain,

Isn't always my fault,

Would you hold my face gently,

As you dry both my eyes

And whisper the words,

"You're too precious to cry",

If I showed you my teardrops,

Would you show me your own?

And learn though we're lonely,

We are never alone.

As long as we allow love in our lives, we all have a constant companion.

Never be afraid to love and let yourself be loved.

The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Silent Struggles - Project Guinea Pig

The life of a 20-something cancer patient: Silent Struggles - Project Guinea Pig: I am a fairly vocal person.  Anyone with whom I have ever crossed paths with would likely say the same.  I am fortunate to be able to chat w...

Silent Struggles - Project Guinea Pig

I am a fairly vocal person.  Anyone with whom I have ever crossed paths with would likely say the same.  I am fortunate to be able to chat with many different types of people, spanning many topics and genres.  I acquire abundant amounts of knowledge from the men, women and children I spend time with each day.  Whether our conversation lasts ten minutes, or we have a number of discussions over ten years, I cherish, and devote myself entirely to each interaction.  This "talent", if you will, is what led me to an interesting idea.  I would like to make my blog more interactive.  Instead of me rambling on about my life, I would like to help others find their path out of their own "silent struggles".

I am calling this new endeavor "Project Guinea Pig".  The name is not locked in.  I am open to suggestions.  I'm not too keen on the idea of calling myself a pig, but I can roll with it.  Anyway, the premise behind the name is to create an open environment between myself and my readers.  I am choosing to put myself in the roll of "guinea pig".  This concept is very similar to the popular column titled "Dear Abby".  I used to read/buy newspapers solely for the "Dear Abby" column.  I have secretly always wanted to be the next "Dear Abby".  The original "Dear Abby" passed away a while back and a new "Dear Abby" has since taken over the duties.  I don't think there is going to be an opening for a new "Dear Abby" anytime soon, so I am venturing forward and fabricating my own communal outlet for my readers.

Here's how it works:

My blog will become a sounding board for myself, as well as, for each and every reader.  I will continue to write about the day-to-day events I face, and I will answer questions, test theories, and become a "guinea pig" of sorts to each of you.  You can choose to contact me while maintaining complete anonymity, or share your identity with us all.  Readers can connect with me on various forms of social media.

    - Through the comment section of my blog.  midtwentiescancerpatient.blogspot.com
    - Through Facebook.  Just add me as a friend
    - Through Twitter.  Follow mimiLeigh8285
    - On both Twitter and Facebook you can choose to message me directly, or post to my wall.

If this experiment is well received I will create separate Facebook and Twitter accounts.  If any of you have connections with any forms of publication, i.e. magazines, newspapers, web-azines, blogs, please let me know.  I would love to associate myself with current and/or prospective publications.  I sure could use the paycheck.  Working remotely and being a cancer patient doesn't exactly put me at the top of the stack when it comes to employment, but I digress.

As I mentioned above, I would love to take my blog to the next level.  I want to give the readers a voice.  It is more than likely that each of you have friends, family members, teachers, therapist, etc that you can bounce ideas off of and voice frustrations with.  I am not here to take the place of those relationships.  I am here to provide another outlet for the questions, theories, and/or natural wonderment about the things that might not be so pleasant.  The things we are too shy, embarrassed, apprehensive, nervous, and/or scared to ask without complete anonymity.  I am also willing to test out popular theories surrounding healthcare, cancer, social interactions, etc.  This does not open the door to disgusting or disturbing questions/theories.  I am suggesting that the topics may be difficult to discuss openly with those closest to you.

Being diagnosed with cancer at age 24, and being forced into my fair share of uncomfortable situations, I am no longer timid or coy around doctors.  I am also surrounded by an eclectic group of people each day.  Some of them have lived for many years, and others have barely begun their journey through life.  In addition to the age range of people I am around each day, I am encompassed by many various types and ever-changing family dynamics.  I am a personal witness to many trials and tribulations of family life.  My own family structure can be helpful to many of you.  Of course, any and all of my findings will be discussed and portrayed with absolute anonymity.  Names, dates, specific situations, etc will all be changed to protect the privacy of everyone involved, myself excluded.  I am conducting this experiment, and quite frankly, I have no shame.  My identity will be the only one revealed.

*Please note that all of the questions asked, theories tested and information shared will be chosen by my own discretion.  Please also note that I am battling cancer.  Unfortunately unexpected occurrences happen quite frequently.  It may take some time before I can respond to questions posted.  I will answer each question as soon as possible.  I will also post any and all dates that I know I will be away from my blog and social media.  I would like to also express that due to my condition, I am given many different types of medication.  Some of these medications can cause me to have an altered mindset.  I will not answer or post any information when I am taking the afore mentioned medications.  That too, may cause a delay in response time.  I apologize in advance for any inconvenience this may cause, but I want to provide the most clear and concise answer to each and everyone who seeks my advice.  Lastly, and the most important point of notice is that I am not a doctor, a therapist, a counselor, or an expert of any kind.  I am a friend.  I am a patient.  I am a voice of reason and/or clarity.  I am not claiming to be a professional of any kind.  I am also not receiving any form of payment for my services at this time.  That does not mean that I will not look into making this a career option for myself in the future either by self publication, or working with an established publication.

I am looking forward to embarking upon this new adventure with all of you.  I hope you will all join in the experience!!