Birches

So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate willfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

This is a clip from one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost. I find it to be very intriguing, and I usually read it once a week.

I used to be very afraid of death. I couldn't even think about it without panicking. My view on death has changed drastically. I am forced to deal with it everyday. There is a good chance that my cancer could kill me. I am also around many people with serious diseases. I have learned to accept dealth for what it is. Death is a part of life. I'd like to think when I leave this world it will be as peaceful as swinging from a birch tree. When my time comes I will not be sad, but be happy for all of the wonderful memories I get to take with me.

I think about the stupid little fights that I had with my sister when we were young. We can know look back at them and laugh. Back then I never thought my sister would be my best friend, and the one person who knows me inside and out. She is my rock. She keeps me positive. I can feel how genuine her words are every time we talk. She keeps me level-headed and gives me the motivation to beat this awful disease! Thank you Danielle. I love you so much!

The other major issues I have had to come to terms with is that my parents might out-live me. That's a hard pill to swallow( no pun intended). Growing up you assume that everything will go in a perfect sequence; you go through school, you get married, you have kids and so on. My life has taking a different path. I was fighting illnesses since my senior year of high school, and continue to fight them. I was fortunated enough to find an amazing man who was crazy enough to marry me. I don't know why he would want to be stuck with a mess like me, but he's always there for me. I adore him. That word doesn't even do him justice. There is no word good enough to explain how wonderful my husband is!

I have had a wonderful life up to this point. I want to continue on grow and learning, but I'm ok with the fact that my life might end shorter than than planned. I have so many memories with so many amazing people! Even if I'm no longer on this Earth, I hope those memories live on! I know they'll stay with me forever! I treat everyday as if it's my last. I going to enjoy life, and spend time with the ones I love the most! My parents are incredible, but I'm unbelievably fortunate to have friends who make surprise visits to see me and organize cancer benefits for me! What more could I ask for?

Life is a gift! I'm not going to take it for granted anymore!