25 More

I have no idea why, but I have been formally requested to post another list of 25 things you may, or may not know about me. My "old lady gang" paid a tech at the hospital to send me an email because they don't know how to use the "fakakta" (their words, not mine) computer. Ha! I miss that crazy bunch of oldies! This one is for you ladies! Hanoe Hobn!!!!

1. I am obsessed with flossing, like psycho obsessed. Sometimes I floss for 20 minutes or more!

2. I believe I am a rock star in the shower. I belt out tunes, dance like I actually have rhythm, and perform choreography from dance videos(well attempt).

3. I love taking pictures, but hate being in pictures...especially with the whole cancer deal. I always feel puffy, pale, ugly, and sickly.

4. I LOVE hugs! The big bear hugs. The kind where you just feel engulfed in love and warm. They are genuine and you never want them to end! I could hug like that all day long, even with strangers, but I think I would probably get put on some kind of watch list or something.

5. I have always wanted to "try my hand" at stand-up comedy, but I'm too afraid I'd get booed off the stage.

6. I'm not sure where we all go after this life, but if we have a choice I'm going to hang around as a spirit and freak all ya'll out(not in a mean way, a funny way)! 😉

7. Number 6 kind of proves that I'm an ass...eek 😬

8. I'm an old school kind of chick. I still write out most of my notes, lists, etc with pen and paper. I write in a personal journal. I'm like an old person on a computer. I can do minimal activities without assistance.

10. One of my favorite songs of all time is "Sherry" by Franky Valli.

11. I HATE overhead lighting and overly bright lamps. Soft lighting is the perfect lighting. Eww, that makes me sound like some kind of porno director! I'm not. Again, I promise!

12. I enjoy wearing sandals, but walking around with bare feet totally freaks me out!

13. I know I talk a lot about individuality and being your own person, but in truth I am a very envious person. I hide my jealousy because I am genuinely happy for my family and friends, but inside I must admit I am covetous. I am also furious at my health for taking so much from me and not allowing me to reach all my goals.

14. Every since I was a little kid I have had to have a cherry dip cone from Dairy Queen. It's been part of my summer tradition for years.

15. It makes me sound like I'm 5, but I collect Hello Kitty stuffed animals wearing t-shirts from cities I've had to travel to for treatments, or where we have lived.

16. I get a new tattoo every year for my birthday. I have 12, so far.

17. Robert Frost, Ansel Adams, and Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy are 3 of the most influential men I believe have ever lived. I am inspired by them everyday.

18. I sincerely love volunteering at children's hospitals and with the elderly. I only wish I could do more for all those whom are suffering.

19. My biggest fear is that I will die at a young age( fairly soon, unfortunately ), and I will never succeed at anything in my lifetime.

20. My favorite drink in the world is chai tea, iced or hot. I could drink 10 glasses a day, I swear!

21. I despise the color navy blue. Don't ask me why, I just don't like the color...except for my Mark Teixeira t-shirt. Go Yanks!! 

22. I have never been able to sit through an entire Badger sporting event because I get such anxiety I have to walk away for a while and calm down...haha! I'm a mess!

23. I am terrified of birds! They totally creep me out! I never remember liking them, but the major turning point was when we visited Alcatraz and a seagull crapped on my brand new shirt and in my eye! It was horrible and devestating! I am still scarred by it to this day!

24. My favorite perfumes are Acqua di Gio by Armani and Daisy Dream by Marc Jacobs.

25. Most people don't know how spontaneous I am, but I rarely shy away from trying anything new. Life is too short not to have fun!!

Hofenung ayer gliklekh ( Hope your happy) old lady gang! I miss you ladies! I'm sorry to the rest of you for unfortunately learning more random stuff about me. Hopefully some of it was at least humorous!! Cheers!!

The Hurt and the Healing

Someday, we'll forgive the hurt. The reason we cried, and caused us so much pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge. We must let things resolve in their own way on their own time.

After all, what matters is not the first chapter, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran this "race" we call life.

So, smile, laugh, forgive, believe, and love all over again.

Forgiveness is not something we do for other people.

We do it for ourselves to get well and move on to a happier, more successful life!!!!!!

Forgiveness

To forgive is not to forget,

To forgive is really to remember,

That nobody is perfect,

That each of us stumbles,

When we want so much to stay upright, 

That day each of us said things,

That day we wish we never would have let our emotions get in our way,

Let us forget us those horrible fights,

Love is more important than being right,

To forgive is to honestly remember that we are so much more that our mistakes,

Love expresses to all of us that we are often more kind and caring, 

We are also more expecting of the flaws of others,

The question is; Can we except our own flaws?

To forgive is to remember,

That the odds are in our favor,

We all need to be forgiven at times,

We also need to forgive others whom have wronged us,

Sometimes life gives us more than we can handle,

To forgive is to gracefully remember,

That in our hearts we have the ability the begin again...and again...and again.

Why...

No one ever said life would be easy, at least not to me. I completely understand that concept. We have to "work hard to play hard". What about all of the random events that play out in our lives? Those moments that "pull the carpet out from under us". Those devestating and life changing moments. What is the explanation for those event?

*Why must the good die young?
*Why do we all take so much for granted?
*Why do we have to grow up? I miss fun classes, seeing friends everyday, sports after school, the dances, just genuine fun!
*Why do you loose so many friends when you get a cancer diagnosis? It's not contagious, I promise!
*Why is being sick so lonely?

*Why do people get cancer(at any age), or othe dibilitating diseases?

*Why does the wind deflate from your wings just as your ready to sore?

*Why does severe illness cause you to loose the friends you used to love so much?

*Why is it that the one person you so deseperately what to talk to shut you out?

*Why can't you enjoy the time you left on Earth with family, friend, traveling? Oh that's right my surgeries, procedures, doctor's appointments, and prescriptions  cost me every penny I have.

My cancer is spreading pretty quickly. Who knows, I could go tomorrow , or in a year or two. I just wanted to express my greatest appreciateing by sharing most of my inner most thoughts and personal situation. You are all more than friends, you are family. Family I love. Family I will cherish forever. Family I guarantee to never take for granted!

Thank you my dear friends, my blood family, and my adopted family. If you are fighting an up hill battle, just keep dusting yourself off when you fall and stay strong! A new surge of energy and optimism will come along to guide you along the path less traveled. The path to your "truth" and your happiness. It will be well deserved, honorable, and created by you! What could be more remarkable?