If I Needed You

If I needed you

Would you come to me

Would you come to me

For to ease my pain

If you needed me

I would come to you 

I would swim the seas

For to ease your pain

For the past four or five years I have been told that before/after I faint and when I'm in excruciating pain I close my eyes and replay that song over and over.  I have even asked whomever I'm with me to sing with me. None of my nurses, doctors, or family members have ever been able to tell me the name of the song, or sing along with me.  The medical professionals always said that I sing it with a weak voice and very softly.  Each time I sing the song I also have a strong emotional response.  The tears I cry in that moment are not only from the pain, and all the constant internal struggles that I endure every day of my life.  I have continued to sing that song during troubled times and I often hum it to "my" kids at the children's hospital when I tuck them into their beds for the night.  This song has been a source of calming in my life.  A song I don't recall ever hearing and that those I play it around me genuinely never recognize it at all. That is until now.

I recently recieved an email from a nurse/friend I saw more often than not when I lived in Arizona.  She and I became fast friends.  We lost touch, because we don't have many chances to see each other.  She still lives in Phoneix and I live in New York.  It's challenging to make cross country trips.  Fortunately, we text, talk and email as much as we can.  Recently I came across a particular exciting email was a complete surprising to me. The subject line read:"If Ever You Need Me".  In the email she explains how she has never given up on me, or of successfully finding the name of the song and the right version.  Some of you may think this is a small, menial, and inferior task for my nurse in Arizona.  I know not knowing that song has been driver her crazy too.. This song has been an enigma and such a nuisance, to both of us, over the years.  

We all must find our best, most peaceful, and successful ways of cope.  No matter what decision you make in life you will always need to remember, when you need someone, they will come to you, for to ease your pain. The best part of this song also recites:

If you needed me, I would come to you

I would swim the seas, For to ease your pain.  Allow those around you from the start. It's extremely challenging and unbelievabley terrifying. Accept the help you need. Spoken from a true hard-ass.

Be the best you! I know that is what gets me through my darkest hours. Happiness is a privilege, hold tight to those kite strings. One, or many can easily fly away.