Benny & Linda

My cancer and tumors have been known to wreak havoc on most of my bones, muscles, joints and nerves.  It is not a glamorous lifestyle to lead.  Well, not so glamorous to most, but I rock the cancer patient look.....obviously! :). Okay, okay, that is wishful thinking.  I don't rock the sickly look anymore than the other patients.  I am likely one of the biggest hot messes there. Ha!  After dealing with cancer for this long, style, fashion and makeup are delegated to the back burner.  Hopefully, one day, they will make it back into the rotation.  As of now, the only style choices I make is in regard to covering up.  I decide which hat, or head wrap I want to were.  After choosing the appropriate headwear, I match a cardigan sweater/zip-up sweatshirt (it's always cold in the hospital) to the chosen headgear.  Lastly, I match my unders to form a complete ensemble.  It is a must to have clean and cute under-roos on just, in case, my bum decides to poke out from behind the gown.  Especially when the doctors and nurses tell me to keep the gown untied because that makes it easier for them when they are performing procedures and exams.  Are you kidding me?  I cannot and will not keep my gown wide open for a doctor to come in just to poke and prod at me.  The doctors and the nurses don't go out of their way to make my time at the hospital easier, so I am sure to tie my gown every single time.  It takes two seconds for them to untie the ties. I think they can easily manage that.  I get frustrated when I am being told to do something because it's easier for the doctor.  Where is the concern for the patient?  We are the ones being tortured and they have the nerve to ask us accommodate them?!?  Sheesh!  Even if I went in for procedure and treatments stark naked, the doctors would find something to bitch about.  Your IV is in the wrong spot, your tattoos make it difficult to find veins for blood draws, oh, you recently fell and have a huge bruise, now your cold and shivering.  These are all things that have no control over.  Each patient is different and not typical.  With all the training the docs and nurses have, you'd think it would be easy for them to acclimate.  Instead the doctors have a tendency to put their utensils down and walk out of the exam room.  They only return if and when everything is up to their standards.  It's ridiculous!  I am doing everything I can to be 100% prepared for any and every day at the hospital.  One would think the doctors and nurses are there to aid in the wellbeing of their patients, but all too often that isn't the case, but, I digress.

There are so many challenges, stresses and frustrations I am faced with on a daily basis.  It's easy to forget about all of the other patients struggling inside and outside of the hospital.  We all take our lives for granted at one time, or another.  I know I have and I still do.  I have been fortunate to have full use of all my extremities.  Many people are not so lucky.  These people could have been born without function, or the ability to use them may have been taken away due to disease and/or injury.  These people fight everyday just to take a step, hold a piece of cutlery, and/or even speak.  There are an abundance of diseases and injuries that can strip us of the most menial tasks.

I recently had to go through some physical therapy to rehab my hip and ankle after taking a bad fall.  Shortly after I started my therapy, I found myself spending a lot of my extra time in the occupational therapy unit.  I had physical therapy four times a week to start and the sessions became less and less as I got stronger.  The funny thing was that I was still spending the same amount of time, maybe even more, in the OT unit.  No, I wasn't putting in over time towards my rehab, I was focusing on the therapy of a certain young man.  I saw this boy every time I was there for my therapy.  He sat quietly in his wheelchair, doing his exercises while his mom and therapist gave him instructions.  He was very attentive always looked eager to try a new exercise.  I watched him get a little bit stronger each day.  One day the boy's mother approached me.  She lightly tapped me on the shoulder and asked if she could have a moment of my time.  I was pleased to speak with her.  I had been admiring her dedication and the love she has for her son.  She took me to the side and thanked me.  I was caught off guard.  Why was she thanking me?  I was clueless, so I asked her why she was thanking me.  She explained that her son has multiple sclerosis and is autistic.  My heart broke as those words came out of her mouth.  She was visibly shaken and holding back the tears as she went into more detail about her son.  I consoled her the best I could and listened to her courageous words.  

His name is Benny.  He was diagnosed with MS shortly after he was born and was diagnosed autistic at age six.  He recently turned fifteen, and has been mute his entire life.  He communicates through his computer, or using sign language.  Therapy had always been a struggle for Benny.  He never put much effort into the exercises.  He would often fight with his mom about going to therapy.  He had no drive or motivation.  Benny's mother told me that all changed the day I started my therapy.  She told me that I was the bright ray of light that was needed to cut through the darkness.  Linda(Benny's mom) illustrated my first day at therapy according to her.  She said I walked through the doors with a huge smile on my face, took two steps and then nailed my knee on one of the exercise machines(sounds about right).  Instead of getting angry or upset, she said that I burst into laughter and made fun of myself.  After such an abrupt and noticeable entrance I introduced myself to everyone as Meg.  I added that they could call me klutz, crash, crazy, etc.... I'll answer to most anything! Ha!  Linda saw a smile on Benny's face for the first time in a long time.  She also saw that he put a little mor effort into his session that day.  As, the time passed I chatted with all the patients and therapists.  I found myself staying after my therapy was done to uplift and encourage other patients as they rehabilitated their injuries and bodies.  Friendships began to bloom with many of the patients, but none like me and Benny.  I would bring in different music for us to play while patients were doing their exercises and rehabbing.  I even started a little chair dance/shimmy for the "down" times.  Therapy had become a lot of fun and we all took serious interest into each other's rehab.  We were all cheerleaders for each other.  Physical therapy became more fun, a little silly and freeing instead of stale and boring.

I finished the therapy I needed for my injuries fairly quickly, but I didn't stop going to the OT unit.  These people had become my friends and I care for them all deeply.  I want to see them succeed.  I could also feel that Benny was going to have a breakthrough soon.  He was putting in so much effort, making strides for his healthcare and smiling through it all.  Watching him improve each day was thrilling!  He was taking charge of his life for the very first time!  It gives me goosebumps thinking about how far he has come and the progress he has made.  The most exhilarating part of all is that Benny, at age fifteen said his first words!

This morning I was saying my goodbyes for the day, gathering my things and putting the "normal" music back on before saying goodbye to Linda and Benny.  I got everything done I needed to before heading out for the day, so I walked over to Linda. We were chatting and looking at our calendars for next week while Benny was finishing up with his therapist.  A couple minutes later Benny was done. I leaned in, hugged Benny, and then I hugged Linda.  I looked over to Benny once more to tell him I would see him tomorrow.  As I was saying the words Benny put his hand up, as if to sign something to me, but he didn't sign anything.  He softly whispered May-Gan. My chin hit the floor. My eyes immediately filled with tears.  I looked over to Linda.  She had the same face on.  We were speechless.  We both knelt down beside Benny.  He spoke again.  May-gan. Thanks you. Thanks you May-gan.  I was floored and filled with emotions.  Then Benny turned his head to Linda.  He slowly sounded out Love you.  Love you mom.  We both lost it!  We hugged him, we hugged each other, hell, we even hugged the custodial worker whom had no idea what was going on.  We could not contain our elation!!  It was an amazingly memorable moment.  I'm so happy I was there to witness it.

No one knows if and when Benny will speak again, only Benny knows, but I will be by his side not matter what.  Not only did Benny speak for the first time today, he restored faith in so many of us.  He is living proof that miracles do happen.  They really do come true.  With hard work, faith, and hope in your heart good things do come to those who wait.