Thursday, August 8, 2013

Fitting In

I have been trying to "fit in" my entire life.  To be honest, I will deny it to anyone who asks.  If anyone inquires about clicks I have been in, or the types of people I flock to, I will always answer the same way.  "I am an independent individual."  Or, my personal favorite.  "I am a free-spirit".  These statements are partially true.  I wouldn't classify myself as any particular type of person.  I get along with almost everyone.  I love to chat with a variety of people.  I can talk to anyone for hours.  It doesn't matter their age, race, or social status.  Even though I no longer actively search to be a part of the "in-crowd", I continue to seek acceptance in social settings.  I never want to feel like a "loser", or "outcast".  I became all too familiar with that feeling in my younger years.  That pain, and sadness is something I will carry in my heart for years to come.  It is an emotional scar, but it will never define who I have, or will become.

We have all experienced rejection from friends, family, and/or complete strangers.  I am lucky that for every person who rejected me, I have had a wonderful friend/family member who has love me exponentially more.  As I age, I learn much more about myself, and those around me.  In the past I thought I needed to change who I was to better "fit in".  I was willing to alter my personality, and my interests to be popular.  I wouldn't dare change who I am these days.  I am satisfied with the person I have become.  Of course, there is always room for improvement.  Instead of letting my surroundings dictate the person I am, I incorporate new and different traits to enhance my personality.  

The lesson that has made the biggest impact in my life is excepting, and appreciating change.  It's no secret that I have moved around a lot in my lifetime.  It started in college.  Since age 18 I have lived in in seven different states.  I have visited many more.  In each state, I have grown and evolved as an individual.  I have discovered the person I want to be.  I have explored my passions.  I have also opened myself up to wealth of knowledge, and experiences.  Each state helped mold my ever-changing lifestyle.  

I no longer strive to "fit in".  Popularity really is not what it's cracked up to be.  I prefer finding people and places that "fit" into my life.  Happiness comes from within, and being surrounded by everything I love makes me happy.

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